life is like a dream..I'll never expect my life could change in just a day..
sometimes, life is so unexpected
i understand the pain that my dad had gone through, more or less
8 years of dialysis, every week poking the veins 3 times, for 8 years
health slowly deteriorating..
heart problems, strokes, leg amputations
imagine that it would have happened on me, i would feel the same
i would rather die.
he suffered for so long..
finally, he gets to rest in peace
it was a kind of feeling, to hold your father who had just passed away
somehow, that moment, i just wanted to call 995 and start to rescue him,
but that was not his wish, he had already given up hope on himself
nah, nobody could blame him for the decision he made
he suffered enough.
so there i was, with one hand holding his head and the other holding his shoulders
yes, the comforting is that he went off peacefully
he didnt struggle, he didnt resist
thats the moment when i wanted him back, but i can't be selfish
just like this, my whole life's gonna change,
for the better or for the worst? i dont know
im kinda sitting beside his coffin now,
i chose this place
i just wanted him to feel my presence, and let him know that i grew up
i definitely can take care of myself
we never talked much to each other
maybe because i inherited his genes of not expressing things through words.
Rest In Peace, Daddy
