Sometimes I feel that I'm just a normal useless idiot who got touch by mere actions and words.
Oh, and that's how weak I am, fuck.

Thinking back, giving without asking for return, is this something that a human could achieve?
No, I don't think so.
Deep in your heart, there is this part of it that ask for returns when you start giving.
Maybe I am like that.
I dunno.
But for 1 thing that I know, when I give, I asked for something else.
I asked for replies.
Things like a simple 'thanks' to a complicated 'I love you too'
Its always what I wanted deep in my heart.
And I know foremost that I want something sincere and what really comes out from your heart.

If you can't take what you are giving, then don't give in the first place.
Its not fun, and sometimes its hurtful.

Right now, I feel like superior over a pariah. And I'm that pariah.
Yea, I don't mind becoming a pariah, but can it be all pariahs instead?
I want everyone of the same rank.
Now its like I'm being controlled on what I as a pariah shouldn't do while the superior is doing everything I shouldn't do.
Its unfair.

Sometimes I always wonder, am I living a life for myself or a life for people?
Why at times when I should be selfish I couldn't and at times when I shouldn't I became so selfish.
I'm trying hard. :(
Why can't I be like everyone else?
Why can't YOU be the same?
I don't like this feeling..
I'm hanging on there for the last bit that I could. :(
Give me some motivation, some motivation that could keep me holding there.
Grab me.. :(( I don't wna fall. :'(((

WHATS LOVE?



hi peeps! today we're gonna talk bout love
whats love?
okay if you guys are thinking bout those things that a 15 year old would write then you are wrong
im not gonna discuss that here
kay, lets start off with a sentence
its a sentence thats been quite frequently brought out of my head.

"Look in a person's face/eyes for 3minutes. you"ll realise you've fallen in love with her"

how true is this statement?
maybe this statement seems a bit too over.
lets change the 3minutes to 5minutes
and did i state.. oh no, i didnt
i believe in this statement
not that i've try it, but somehow i think it could most likely be true
the more you look at the person, the more you'll feel that he/she isnt that bad after all
that he/she isnt that ugly at all
and im talking bout looking in the real face, not photo
worst case scenario is that yes, the person is ugly
but then you'll start to notice at least 1 thing in him/her that makes you feel 'woah!'
yes, maybe this one is cause i've experience it before
thats why i could say this
CAUTION!
those with bf/gf/husband/wife, dont try this experiment anywhere
it isnt tested on and its dangerous
you'll never know what you'll get from your spouse the next moment

okay, lets come to some scenario thingy

"If 2 person of the opposite sex are trap in a cave with each other, do you think they would develop love?"

what do you think?
lets say that food supply and water supply is unlimited
first of all, i think we need to find the definition of love
aww, its like going back to being a 15year old kid
nah.. lets go into the possible outcome
err.. i think most prob they would be together as a couple
there is possible reasons why
1: love at first sight. aww.. thats sweet
2: gradual love w.r.t time. aww.. thats sweet too, increasing of love daily.
3: for sex? well, i am here to say, NOT ONLY MAN! women are horny too, its just that they dont show.
i guess when you're stuck inside the cave you'll have nothing to do. so? maybe everyday find some entertainment (which is the other only one alive beside),
have fun, explore, groan, moan, shout, scream, nobody cares and nobody will hear (if somebody heard means they are safe and will be rescued? sorta killing 2birdies with a stone huh!)
then off course, have babies which then give them more responsibilities and aims in life
ohh, and why did i turn my post into this.
uhh.. okay lets say some other things

i got myself a blackberry bold 9000 recently. :)
and i was thinking, why the heck doesnt everyone has a bb?
i think i know why
the apps in bb isnt as nice as those in apple store
things like SG buses and stuff, all bb dont have
boring
but well, i still love my bb, so nice to type. :)

oh ya!
recently there's this raping craze.
lots of people are going around raping people's phone
dont know why, victimSSS are reported
and i am one of them
imagine taking back your phone from someone you lend only to see your messages had been scrolled to the day before
yea, i definitely feel FUCK UP
one whole day's message kena rape
try that on yourself, dude.

my dad's changed
now, he treats life more preciously
he treat his loved ones more preciously now
last time when i came home he used to say
"you"re back ar? aiiyaa!"
or when im coming home for dinner he'll say
"you coming home for dinner? yes ar? aiiyaa!!"
now, when i come back, he would say
"you're home? im happy, like that then got people pei me and your mama"
and recently, he's been talking to me more and more
wanting to start having a convo with me
yea, he knew whats going on, and i think i do know whats going on too
its making me feel more guilty
sometimes i wish he could just care me less

anyway, once, i was in bus
and i notice this couple since they were in front of me
i notice how the girl was holding the guy
yea, sometimes, its actually possible to see how close the couple is
as in not those kind of i love you you love me more
as in physically close
yea, i guess everybody knows what im talking
and you cant deny the fact by EEEEEEE-ing
yea, sometimes the more you observe the more you notice something and the more you see
yea

well, its the second week of school
and.. ohh
i dont feel like talking bout school and my life now, maybe later?
shall post till here.