well, today made me realise some things
now i know that i will jerk while i sleep.
why? dunno. i have no idea bout that until nana told me so
maybe its cause im too tired or something?
or maybe it only happens when i sleep upright instead of lying?
oh yea, and work is tiring
pure tiring this 2 days
i thin i use too much strength the wrong way
now my back ache
the back bone there de muscle like kena stretched too much.
sleep also feel gao weh
whole day move things, like those house movers that you call to help you move your house and furniture like that.
move until there pain there bleed
knn sia.
ya KOI again
recently got this KOI craze huh
oh ya! i managed to stole on polo tee home! :)
this one is a nicer one!

okay okay, lets say out what i was thinking then
well, i study in a science course.
yea, a 100% SCIENCE COURSE.
and yes, I AM A SCIENCE STUDENT.
but i dont think i look/seem/behave like one.
for a simple reason
i think i've got more things to do (which i haven even touch) than a course with maybe 70% or less science modules
yea, and i looked so relax when people around me are all stressing up with projects, studies and assignments
more ever, what makes things worst is that i cant believe i cant 100% know, understand and interpret a simple sentence in the sentence i read just now
yea, im a science student, and if i ever asked anyone from my course and ask him/her what that sentence is about, everybody would know how to explain everything
i guess only me dont know anything
and im thinking, where can i go after i graduate
people say as long as you get the diploma, people dosent look at your gpa unless university admission.
but today, i realise that logically thinking, this arent the case for a science student
so what if you get a diploma with a gpa of 1.0?
even if i manage to get a work, i cant perform well!
i dont even know the basics till now.
i think if the company is on retrenchment, the first one they will sack is me.
im not being pessimistic, but im just facing the facts of the real world
but what can i do now?
yea, there is a lot i can do now, whether i want to start it or not only.

last 2 days,i remembered one thing
one thing that strikes me suddenly
i remembered how i was used to be given false hope the whole of this year.
everytime, as usual, then it became like my fault
everybody then starts seeing me differently, like im a bad boy
yea, part of it was my fault, but most of it arent.
now, i just want to try my best to avoid all those things.

well, its time to blog.
a week ago, i almost forgot the existence of my blog
until recently
lets start with the thing that i least wanted to face in life.
studies
well, first,
hows my timetable? everyone will ask
well, im giving almost everyone a different ans than they expected
i have a damn bloody relaing timetable
im taking only 4 modules this sem
one repeating module, one module is what im suppose to take last sem,
and 2 new modules
well, plus a events management IS module as well
so how am i faring in the week?
i would say, bad
im not one who would always approach people
im not one who's always that friendly
so well, its like living my life fearing each class i go to everyday
without people i know/know really well
i have to face every class with courage
to bear the stares people look at me with
yea, its weird
imagine a new guy coming to a class
everybody knows each other well
except me
nobody knows me and i dont know anybody
well, but i guess looking on the bright side,
i may be able to make more friends?
and maybe as the week goes by the fear would be gone?
who ask me not to study hard in the first place.
too bad!

well, i thought of an interesting question while i was in practical today
people say human used to be derived from monkeys right?
and the prokaryotes and eukaryoyes doesnt differentiate themselves instantly
homo sapiens and drosophila doesnt appear from no where.
so the question is,

" DOES EVERYTHING DERIVES FROM AN ORIGIN??"

lets take homo sapiens for example
they are said to be derived from monkeys
so the question is whether we really came from monkeys?
however, i heard a very good comment from my band section mates

"IF WE ARE TO DERIVE FROM MONKEYS, THEN WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THE METAMORPHOSIS EVEN NOW!"

yes, thats it, if it takes million of years for a monkey to become a human, then we should be seeing the process like now!
there isnt really any reason that i can think of.
one 20%human looks and 80% monkey looks will will mate and form offspring?
they cant be rejected due to their face since humans are able to form
there must be succcessful matings occuring.
well, maybe when i grow up i can find the answer??
who knows?
maybe you are looking at a blog of a future mad scientist with Einstein's hair!
well, FAT HOPE!

will this be the end of everything?
as time goes by, people change.
they tend to move away from their partners
especially when they are faced with a new environment, new people

lots happen recently, until i dont wanna face life
lets start with my studies

well, i failed 1 module again.
which means i would definitely be graduating one semester later than everybody
my timetable next sem is okay
you know qhy i said okay? cos im like taking some shit modules
much much different from everyone else
well, what can i do? work hard
whether i will shall depends on when i start having aims in life

well, other then studies, i've been working my life away
everyday work work work and work
i dont know why i like working so much
maybe because it lets me hide myself from the real situation in life
maybe its because of the friends there
i realise most people who work there continued working because of friends
yes, i half of the reason i work is because of the friends there
everyday i work, i see lots of friends
talking cock, laughing, and chionging and sweating together
its something you wont forget in your whole life living in this world
i've never regret working in the first place
and i think i owe yuliana, ervina and jiahui a thanks for bringing me in. :)

i've been thinking of my blog
living my life without regrets
i've been asking myself and revising again
have i regret anything in my life
now, my answer is a NO
why?
yes, i used to regret one incident that happened in my life that i had the ability to actually prevent it from happening
but i thought to myself, if that incident never happens,
i would never have learn my strength and weaknesses
i would never had know myself better
i would never had treasure myself and people around me more
yea, people are selfish
everyone cant deny that they are somewhat selfish
but at least an improvement is better than getting worst

there is a moment in time when i was thinking of why do people drift apart unknowingly and suddenly?
maybe because things arent the same and the way its used to be anymore
learn to accept and move on.
and i learned a good phrase from my bandmates
nah, its not something sarcastic, but its really something i would want to remind myself

Life goes on.

no matter what happens, continue to live your life like how you want it to be. :)

well there's a whole lot of other things that i thought i wont want to post.
so, i shall sign off here. :)