Sometimes I feel that I'm just a normal useless idiot who got touch by mere actions and words.
Oh, and that's how weak I am, fuck.

Thinking back, giving without asking for return, is this something that a human could achieve?
No, I don't think so.
Deep in your heart, there is this part of it that ask for returns when you start giving.
Maybe I am like that.
I dunno.
But for 1 thing that I know, when I give, I asked for something else.
I asked for replies.
Things like a simple 'thanks' to a complicated 'I love you too'
Its always what I wanted deep in my heart.
And I know foremost that I want something sincere and what really comes out from your heart.

If you can't take what you are giving, then don't give in the first place.
Its not fun, and sometimes its hurtful.

Right now, I feel like superior over a pariah. And I'm that pariah.
Yea, I don't mind becoming a pariah, but can it be all pariahs instead?
I want everyone of the same rank.
Now its like I'm being controlled on what I as a pariah shouldn't do while the superior is doing everything I shouldn't do.
Its unfair.

Sometimes I always wonder, am I living a life for myself or a life for people?
Why at times when I should be selfish I couldn't and at times when I shouldn't I became so selfish.
I'm trying hard. :(
Why can't I be like everyone else?
Why can't YOU be the same?
I don't like this feeling..
I'm hanging on there for the last bit that I could. :(
Give me some motivation, some motivation that could keep me holding there.
Grab me.. :(( I don't wna fall. :'(((