well well, today while at the si ma lu bai bai, i realise something
i sort of give up hopes on myself
now, i wish for people around me and not myself
whenever i pray, i pray for the best of people around me
but seldom do i really pray for myself
is it that i lost hope in my religion?
or is it that i really gave up hope on myself?

often, i tell myself this:
no matter how useless i get, i must not affect the people around me
i cannot influence them to the bad side
i must contain the badness within my own self
no matter what, no one around me must follow my path

however, sometimes i become selfish
i want to actually share something in my life
i wna share my life with my loved ones
but in this state, i thought 'will i be a bad influence?'

well, so therefore, i've decided that if i were to share my life successfully,
i will try my very best to be a better person
to be how hardworking qiping once used to be
to to live my life without any regrets
thats what i will try to do

I wish i am better at my English
i wish i am better in my words expression
i wish i could easily think of words to say to you
how i wish i could express myself so easily,
and not forgetting what to say every time our eyes met
finding words to say on the spot isnt my type either
how i wish i have the ability to do that
but i will try my best,
my very best to make you smile as happily as you could whenever we talk
to tell you my whole life..