i never thought i still have something in me
you know, i never regret keeping those things under the dust
and im glad i did kept it
to this date, reading back what has happened so long ago made me realise how i was in the past
i missed who i used to be..
the time when we first started out
the innocence times..
you activated my nose, my thoughts and my sense of humor
i had the best memorable times with you


here, i want to thank you..

thank you for entering my life.

you've made an impact in my life, a positive one. you made me understand myself more.

thank you for teaching me things in my life that i would never forget.

you taught me what is love, what it means and how it feels like for the first time in my life

thank you for the unselfish love that you have given me

i've felt it and i feel appreciative of that.

thanks for everything you have given me

i never threw it away, i kept them to the best i could

i want to keep it this way
i want to make myself miss those times
i want to make myself miss who i am before
and i will constantly remind myself who i used to be before, how much i've changed
i want to make myself live my whole life regretting for my lifetime
and i want to make myself miss you and our times for the whole of my life..

i miss how we used to be
Qiping

Dreams..

i realise the problem in me
if i could anyhow catch one person inside my poly campus and ask him/her what he/she wants to be,
i bet out of everyone could give me an answer.
but i couldnt
i remember on quite a lot of occasion when different people asked me 'what you want to be when you grow up'?
i couldnt answer

everything you do has a purpose and a reason that you will do
you eat cos you are hungry
you wack the person cos he guai lan and so on
but i asked myself 'why do i study?'
i couldnt come out with an exact answer
normally people would have said something like 'i wna get a degree in this area and become a boss and earn lots of money'
i will give the same answer too..
but the problem isnt here. the problem is with 'this area'
what area do i want to focus on?
which area exactly do i want to profession myself on?
i dont know
when there is no reason to do something that you are doing right now, that something becomes a burden
same as love.
when its gone, all thats left is burden and burden.

its a fact that i dont have BIG dreams in my life,
a dream big enough to have take over my life like a drug
i never had one

so hows my life? pretty predictable huh?
no interest in studies, taking studies as a burden instead
shows no interest in life
no matter how much intelligence i gain, its of no use
a person without dreams is like lost, wild cat