Life without regrets..

2011-12-13T00:21:00.002+08:00

life is like a dream..

I'll never expect my life could change in just a day..
sometimes, life is so unexpected
i understand the pain that my dad had gone through, more or less
8 years of dialysis, every week poking the veins 3 times, for 8 years
health slowly deteriorating..
heart problems, strokes, leg amputations
imagine that it would have happened on me, i would feel the same
i would rather die.
he suffered for so long..
finally, he gets to rest in peace
it was a kind of feeling, to hold your father who had just passed away
somehow, that moment, i just wanted to call 995 and start to rescue him,
but that was not his wish, he had already given up hope on himself
nah, nobody could blame him for the decision he made
he suffered enough.
so there i was, with one hand holding his head and the other holding his shoulders
yes, the comforting is that he went off peacefully
he didnt struggle, he didnt resist
thats the moment when i wanted him back, but i can't be selfish
just like this, my whole life's gonna change,
for the better or for the worst? i dont know
im kinda sitting beside his coffin now,
i chose this place
i just wanted him to feel my presence, and let him know that i grew up
i definitely can take care of myself
we never talked much to each other
maybe because i inherited his genes of not expressing things through words.

Rest In Peace, Daddy

2011-12-05T00:31:00.002+08:00

My Best Movie 2011 ever watch + Best Movie of my Life since 1992 award:

U Are The Apple Of My Eye

《那些年，我們一起追的女孩》

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqjgLbKZ1h0&list=FLn-RY5CPH9p5b1SeF2ZmoLw&index=1&feature=plpp_video

2011-11-28T17:46:00.006+08:00

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wlV-54x2QKU/THFx5WKLsCI/AAAAAAAAAbA/joKKYATKBpg/s1600/long_time_no_see_postcard-p239738589187726208qibm_400.jpg

Its been awhile!

and just, i've changed my email address!

reason being: im a grown up now, i dont wna associate my email with a childish pingpinginhell name

it was a draggggg!

i had to recreate and transfer everything!

my google+ account, my blogger, and the worst thing; my google music

i will have to upload my WHOLE FREAKING 12xx SONGS AGAIN!!

damn it.

well, thats life

oh yes, so what is the thing that inspire me to blog again?

first is cos of ervina, reminding me of my blog, that i very long never blog already,

which makes me visit this site again

the song for my blog never failed to make me bored.

this song is yijibang! love it to the max

the second reason was when my MBC lecturer started asking us to create new blog for my project

with makes me log into the dashboard

well, i must say, the new blog layout is total FOREIGN to me

and i refuse to accept the change in layout

reason being: the colour and layout of this old blogger has memories and life on it that is unique to everyone

when you started blogging, you thought of the days when you were a frequent blogger, entering this page

or maybe its just for me?

anyway, there's a nice photo that i wanted to share

its found when im googling the first picture with the keywords 'long time no see' to put in my blog post

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sn6U-Rug5ZI/SmuXQbAD5fI/AAAAAAAABbM/swJFLWqggFU/s400/LongTimeNoSee.jpg

im sorry if i offended big stomach guys here,

if you saw this and feel offended, then FUCK OFF. :)

well, i've been glancing through my pass posts

and well,

as of november 2011, i am no longer having any motivation to study

but i will still complete my course

reason being that i dont wna be a burden to anyone

at least if i complete my course, i can find a job and have monthly stable allowance (hopefully)

at least the chances are higher than i never complete my course

i don't wna work full time in banquet and end up with panda eyes and bleeding nose for not sleeping well

working one whole day just to earn 100bucks a day

nah, that's not the life i want

i just want a life balanced with work and my love ones. :)

well, I've decided

for whatever god sake reason, i will never let my child follow my path

its a painful one

no one knows how it feels like to walk into a class with everyone staring at you

with the 'who the fuck are you' look at first

then with the pitiful look gradually

well, in the end i must say i asked for it

i cant blame anyone for looking at me like this, its natural reaction

i would have done the same thing if i was the one looking

i can only blame myself for not studying well

well, put all those things aside, recently i've been watching forensic heroes

its a nice show, and i remember something

"Common law is the law for common man"

wow. HAHA!

see this video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0m5OgFcKqs

(not gonna upload since i hide my blog music)

Pro Sir: Common law is the law for common man. Common law is the fundamentals of all Hong Kong laws. The model for common law is to accept the objectivity of rules. This refers to the unspoken rules agreed by the majority which dictates habits, truth and false, right and wrong. This forms the fundamentals of common law.

The motive behind an action is accepted is not solely due to my judgment but derived from the fundamentals of common law. It reflects the same motive behind the same action of the majority.

The accused forcefully inserted the pill bottle into the deceased mouth. The motive behind the action was to force the deceased to swallow ketamine pills within the bottle.

Lawyer: Your honour, the witness’s illustration has already been dislodged from the specialization of a forensic scientist.

Pro Sir: My professional judgment must definitely be base on the fundamentals of common law. Thus my court statement is not dislodged from my profession.

Judge: Expert witness, you may continue.

Pro Sir: Thus when you brought the bottle to your mouth with a swallowing action, the whole set of actions under normal circumstances would led one to believed that the bottle is filled with water or other forms of liquid. Thus a normal person would then be driven to display a drinking action.

Of course, a person would also would pick up an empty bottle and pretend to drink. This is because he is acting. He is an actor. The motive behind your actions is to create a perfectly logical scenario. In reality, your account is an unconceivable illusion which is a blatant attempt to overthrow the whole truth.

From your perspective, to overrule my judgment, your motive is reasonable. But I need to emphasize, the legal judgment I made is based on the fundamentals of common law. The accused forcefully inserted a bottle full of ketamine pills into the deceased’s mouth have led to her death.

This is definitely a correct judgment, closest to the truth

http://sgbluechip.blogspot.com/2011/11/common-law-is-law-for-common-man-3.html

Believe me, this is the best scene i've ever watched.

not as a perspective that im studying forensic science, but as a perspective of a normal person

whoever haven watch forensic heroes III yet, i would recommend it

although all the cast changed (with is so freaking sad :( )

its still nice la, but i still like ouyang zhen hua more in terms of his character in the first 2 series

well, thats all i have for now. :)

2011-02-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

hi there
its been so long since i last blog
well, how's life?
hmm.. still bearable?
but there is one thing just there

here, i have lost my will and determination to study
im not sure why
but i just dont have that self discipline inside me anymore
i used to have it so much during my 'o' lvls period,
but now, its like *pooof* and its all gone
i've just failed 2 modules, now if i failed the same module for the second time,
im gonna really say bye bye to my poly life and my dip cert
yea, i sensed the emergency here
but nothing's moving
i wish i could get over with m poly life soon and graduate with a poly cert and thats it
i arent gonna study anymore
i seems so hard, dont know why
once, my mum told me that a fortune teller said that i wouldnt have much of a achievement in my life
the best i could attained was a word 'manager'
i want to prove everyone wrong, but it just wont move

nothing's progressing...

2010-11-20T02:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel that I'm just a normal useless idiot who got touch by mere actions and words.
Oh, and that's how weak I am, fuck.

Thinking back, giving without asking for return, is this something that a human could achieve?
No, I don't think so.
Deep in your heart, there is this part of it that ask for returns when you start giving.
Maybe I am like that.
I dunno.
But for 1 thing that I know, when I give, I asked for something else.
I asked for replies.
Things like a simple 'thanks' to a complicated 'I love you too'
Its always what I wanted deep in my heart.
And I know foremost that I want something sincere and what really comes out from your heart.

If you can't take what you are giving, then don't give in the first place.
Its not fun, and sometimes its hurtful.

Right now, I feel like superior over a pariah. And I'm that pariah.
Yea, I don't mind becoming a pariah, but can it be all pariahs instead?
I want everyone of the same rank.
Now its like I'm being controlled on what I as a pariah shouldn't do while the superior is doing everything I shouldn't do.
Its unfair.

Sometimes I always wonder, am I living a life for myself or a life for people?
Why at times when I should be selfish I couldn't and at times when I shouldn't I became so selfish.
I'm trying hard. :(
Why can't I be like everyone else?
Why can't YOU be the same?
I don't like this feeling..
I'm hanging on there for the last bit that I could. :(
Give me some motivation, some motivation that could keep me holding there.
Grab me.. :(( I don't wna fall. :'(((

2010-11-10T22:12:00.006+08:00

WHATS LOVE?

hi peeps! today we're gonna talk bout love
whats love?
okay if you guys are thinking bout those things that a 15 year old would write then you are wrong
im not gonna discuss that here
kay, lets start off with a sentence
its a sentence thats been quite frequently brought out of my head.

"Look in a person's face/eyes for 3minutes. you"ll realise you've fallen in love with her"

how true is this statement?
maybe this statement seems a bit too over.
lets change the 3minutes to 5minutes
and did i state.. oh no, i didnt
i believe in this statement
not that i've try it, but somehow i think it could most likely be true
the more you look at the person, the more you'll feel that he/she isnt that bad after all
that he/she isnt that ugly at all
and im talking bout looking in the real face, not photo
worst case scenario is that yes, the person is ugly
but then you'll start to notice at least 1 thing in him/her that makes you feel 'woah!'
yes, maybe this one is cause i've experience it before
thats why i could say this
CAUTION!
those with bf/gf/husband/wife, dont try this experiment anywhere
it isnt tested on and its dangerous
you'll never know what you'll get from your spouse the next moment

okay, lets come to some scenario thingy

"If 2 person of the opposite sex are trap in a cave with each other, do you think they would develop love?"

what do you think?
lets say that food supply and water supply is unlimited
first of all, i think we need to find the definition of love
aww, its like going back to being a 15year old kid
nah.. lets go into the possible outcome
err.. i think most prob they would be together as a couple
there is possible reasons why
1: love at first sight. aww.. thats sweet
2: gradual love w.r.t time. aww.. thats sweet too, increasing of love daily.
3: for sex? well, i am here to say, NOT ONLY MAN! women are horny too, its just that they dont show.
i guess when you're stuck inside the cave you'll have nothing to do. so? maybe everyday find some entertainment (which is the other only one alive beside),
have fun, explore, groan, moan, shout, scream, nobody cares and nobody will hear (if somebody heard means they are safe and will be rescued? sorta killing 2birdies with a stone huh!)
then off course, have babies which then give them more responsibilities and aims in life
ohh, and why did i turn my post into this.
uhh.. okay lets say some other things

i got myself a blackberry bold 9000 recently. :)
and i was thinking, why the heck doesnt everyone has a bb?
i think i know why
the apps in bb isnt as nice as those in apple store
things like SG buses and stuff, all bb dont have
boring
but well, i still love my bb, so nice to type. :)

oh ya!
recently there's this raping craze.
lots of people are going around raping people's phone
dont know why, victimSSS are reported
and i am one of them
imagine taking back your phone from someone you lend only to see your messages had been scrolled to the day before
yea, i definitely feel FUCK UP
one whole day's message kena rape
try that on yourself, dude.

2010-11-05T20:49:00.002+08:00

my dad's changed
now, he treats life more preciously
he treat his loved ones more preciously now
last time when i came home he used to say
"you"re back ar? aiiyaa!"
or when im coming home for dinner he'll say
"you coming home for dinner? yes ar? aiiyaa!!"
now, when i come back, he would say
"you're home? im happy, like that then got people pei me and your mama"
and recently, he's been talking to me more and more
wanting to start having a convo with me
yea, he knew whats going on, and i think i do know whats going on too
its making me feel more guilty
sometimes i wish he could just care me less

anyway, once, i was in bus
and i notice this couple since they were in front of me
i notice how the girl was holding the guy
yea, sometimes, its actually possible to see how close the couple is
as in not those kind of i love you you love me more
as in physically close
yea, i guess everybody knows what im talking
and you cant deny the fact by EEEEEEE-ing
yea, sometimes the more you observe the more you notice something and the more you see
yea

well, its the second week of school
and.. ohh
i dont feel like talking bout school and my life now, maybe later?
shall post till here.

2010-10-31T22:35:00.002+08:00

well, today made me realise some things
now i know that i will jerk while i sleep.
why? dunno. i have no idea bout that until nana told me so
maybe its cause im too tired or something?
or maybe it only happens when i sleep upright instead of lying?
oh yea, and work is tiring
pure tiring this 2 days
i thin i use too much strength the wrong way
now my back ache
the back bone there de muscle like kena stretched too much.
sleep also feel gao weh
whole day move things, like those house movers that you call to help you move your house and furniture like that.
move until there pain there bleed
knn sia.
ya KOI again
recently got this KOI craze huh
oh ya! i managed to stole on polo tee home! :)
this one is a nicer one!

okay okay, lets say out what i was thinking then
well, i study in a science course.
yea, a 100% SCIENCE COURSE.
and yes, I AM A SCIENCE STUDENT.
but i dont think i look/seem/behave like one.
for a simple reason
i think i've got more things to do (which i haven even touch) than a course with maybe 70% or less science modules
yea, and i looked so relax when people around me are all stressing up with projects, studies and assignments
more ever, what makes things worst is that i cant believe i cant 100% know, understand and interpret a simple sentence in the sentence i read just now
yea, im a science student, and if i ever asked anyone from my course and ask him/her what that sentence is about, everybody would know how to explain everything
i guess only me dont know anything
and im thinking, where can i go after i graduate
people say as long as you get the diploma, people dosent look at your gpa unless university admission.
but today, i realise that logically thinking, this arent the case for a science student
so what if you get a diploma with a gpa of 1.0?
even if i manage to get a work, i cant perform well!
i dont even know the basics till now.
i think if the company is on retrenchment, the first one they will sack is me.
im not being pessimistic, but im just facing the facts of the real world
but what can i do now?
yea, there is a lot i can do now, whether i want to start it or not only.

2010-10-27T21:43:00.006+08:00

last 2 days,i remembered one thing
one thing that strikes me suddenly
i remembered how i was used to be given false hope the whole of this year.
everytime, as usual, then it became like my fault
everybody then starts seeing me differently, like im a bad boy
yea, part of it was my fault, but most of it arent.
now, i just want to try my best to avoid all those things.

well, its time to blog.
a week ago, i almost forgot the existence of my blog
until recently
lets start with the thing that i least wanted to face in life.
studies
well, first,
hows my timetable? everyone will ask
well, im giving almost everyone a different ans than they expected
i have a damn bloody relaing timetable
im taking only 4 modules this sem
one repeating module, one module is what im suppose to take last sem,
and 2 new modules
well, plus a events management IS module as well
so how am i faring in the week?
i would say, bad
im not one who would always approach people
im not one who's always that friendly
so well, its like living my life fearing each class i go to everyday
without people i know/know really well
i have to face every class with courage
to bear the stares people look at me with
yea, its weird
imagine a new guy coming to a class
everybody knows each other well
except me
nobody knows me and i dont know anybody
well, but i guess looking on the bright side,
i may be able to make more friends?
and maybe as the week goes by the fear would be gone?
who ask me not to study hard in the first place.
too bad!

well, i thought of an interesting question while i was in practical today
people say human used to be derived from monkeys right?
and the prokaryotes and eukaryoyes doesnt differentiate themselves instantly
homo sapiens and drosophila doesnt appear from no where.
so the question is,

" DOES EVERYTHING DERIVES FROM AN ORIGIN??"

lets take homo sapiens for example
they are said to be derived from monkeys
so the question is whether we really came from monkeys?
however, i heard a very good comment from my band section mates

"IF WE ARE TO DERIVE FROM MONKEYS, THEN WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THE METAMORPHOSIS EVEN NOW!"

yes, thats it, if it takes million of years for a monkey to become a human, then we should be seeing the process like now!
there isnt really any reason that i can think of.
one 20%human looks and 80% monkey looks will will mate and form offspring?
they cant be rejected due to their face since humans are able to form
there must be succcessful matings occuring.
well, maybe when i grow up i can find the answer??
who knows?
maybe you are looking at a blog of a future mad scientist with Einstein's hair!
well, FAT HOPE!

2010-10-04T21:43:00.002+08:00

will this be the end of everything?
as time goes by, people change.
they tend to move away from their partners
especially when they are faced with a new environment, new people

lots happen recently, until i dont wanna face life
lets start with my studies

well, i failed 1 module again.
which means i would definitely be graduating one semester later than everybody
my timetable next sem is okay
you know qhy i said okay? cos im like taking some shit modules
much much different from everyone else
well, what can i do? work hard
whether i will shall depends on when i start having aims in life

well, other then studies, i've been working my life away
everyday work work work and work
i dont know why i like working so much
maybe because it lets me hide myself from the real situation in life
maybe its because of the friends there
i realise most people who work there continued working because of friends
yes, i half of the reason i work is because of the friends there
everyday i work, i see lots of friends
talking cock, laughing, and chionging and sweating together
its something you wont forget in your whole life living in this world
i've never regret working in the first place
and i think i owe yuliana, ervina and jiahui a thanks for bringing me in. :)

i've been thinking of my blog
living my life without regrets
i've been asking myself and revising again
have i regret anything in my life
now, my answer is a NO
why?
yes, i used to regret one incident that happened in my life that i had the ability to actually prevent it from happening
but i thought to myself, if that incident never happens,
i would never have learn my strength and weaknesses
i would never had know myself better
i would never had treasure myself and people around me more
yea, people are selfish
everyone cant deny that they are somewhat selfish
but at least an improvement is better than getting worst

there is a moment in time when i was thinking of why do people drift apart unknowingly and suddenly?
maybe because things arent the same and the way its used to be anymore
learn to accept and move on.
and i learned a good phrase from my bandmates
nah, its not something sarcastic, but its really something i would want to remind myself

Life goes on.

no matter what happens, continue to live your life like how you want it to be. :)

well there's a whole lot of other things that i thought i wont want to post.
so, i shall sign off here. :)

2010-09-22T00:11:00.001+08:00

i have LOTS to say.
gonna update here soon.

2010-09-19T00:12:00.003+08:00

i miss the sound of the laughter
i miss the face of the laughter
i miss that expression
i miss that happiness
and i think that is what i have been missing in my life for the week..

2010-09-14T00:53:00.002+08:00

sometimes, you just need a little something
sometimes a kiss, a hug, a grip, even just plain looking with a smile can cure all sadness and griefs
it just feel so comfort
sometimes, without even realizing, it just made your day

well, sometimes you think and imagine too much
making yourself fall into a state of utopia
yea, you believe things will always go so smoothly?
as smooth as you think?
without even any obstacles?
WAKE UP!
PINCH YOURSELF! SMACK YOURSELF! WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL! CUT YOURSELF!
MAKE YOURSELF WAKE UP!
you will realise everything you thought about is so far from reality
maybe, you'll even realise you are the only one walking on this path, without even anyone by your side
without the ones you wanted by your side
you'll suddenly feel like an idiot
yea, dont give up, continue on, you'll see the light/rainbow at the end of the road
thats what people will say
you believe?
yea, i believe, you will see the rainbow
in a matter of time, thats something you'll wanna add.
ask yourself, in real life, how many times do you exactly see a rainbow?
yea, sometimes its good to be optimistic, but how long can you remain staying that way?
okay, lets stop
i am suppose to be OPTIMISTIC!

2010-09-12T00:21:00.002+08:00

well, here i am blogging again
well, i was suppose to wake up at 930 this morning
but in the end i set off my alarm clock and went back to sleep
the next moment i opened my eyes was already 1230
i was suppose to meet them at 11 -.-
so, i just bathed and went out of my house to meet them at marine parade centra
went to giant to buy tibits, then to mac to buy 2 macchicken since its cheap and then KOI!
after that then meet they all at some dessert shop, in the end i wasnt the only one late, everyone was ate. :D
went to east coast to sit down picnic while waiting for people to come
and then to cycling! :)
this was like my maybe 5th time cycling?
and my worst time, cos i fell down :(
i was trying to push myself to see how fast i can really cycle, then i like lost my balance and PHEW!
i went down, :((
went down all on my left and even rolled one round. :(((
how i know i rolled? cos by right i was suppose to stop where my body weight lies, but then i was sorta forced by the impact to turn
damn!
hurts like hell
left hand, left arm, left hip, left knee cap and my leg all kena
my slippers detached (and thats my less than 5days of wearing it)
but i fixed it back anyway. :)
cycled to the toilet to wash myself.
ouch, pain sia
was trying to act brave like a man
but its really pain
felling pain when turning my hand now. :(

well, so much of the sad story,
dinner time went to swensens!
ordered chicken in a basket and my food was the last to come
basket.
and not very nice also, the flour got one smell i dont like
just ate for the sake of filling my stomach
had a fun time, and i guess photos will be up soon
but i thought i looked a bit thick on my hair
:((
like some stupid mushroom hairstyle like that.
aw shit, gotta cut my hair again
well, anyway, thats all ba. :)

2010-09-08T22:11:00.002+08:00

well, im sort of feeling being a dragg to everyone and disturbing other people's life.
so, i shall post what i want to say here

well, one good thing that i think went well today was: I BOUGHT A NEW SLIPPERS FINALLY!!! :)
its after like months and months of all talk no action, i finally bought it

this is how the story goes
since my classmates all jio me to seoul garden to eat after my last paper, i decided to dress more formally
actually i wanted to wear jeans (luckily i didnt) plus a formal top
then i think, aiiyaa, lazy la, so just wear normal
then decided to actually wore shoes instead of slippers like i usually do
then when our paper all finish already,, it rained heavily
by he time we get to the bus stop, my shoes were all damn damn wet
and i feel a bit gao weh with it
so when i went to taka with them, i decided to buy a new pair of slippers
in the end went to new urban male to buy (yeah, you guessed it) a black slipper
minutes before i bought im really feeling a little itchy and awkwardness all around inside my shoe
and, well, after that was blah blah blah blah blah~~
i can go on talking for a thousand word essay, but lets stop here
in the evening i went to visit my dad in the hospital
yea, why he went to the hospital? long story.
and while sitting down beside his bed, i looked diagonally across and saw this man
from my view, i can really see that his days are sorta.. numbered, sadly to say
he was on oxygen mask
then i actually thought to myself: what will my life be like if one day i get admitted into the hospital?

surely, i wont want my mum to come and visit me regularly, she've got better things to do
i definitely wont be clinging and dependent on my mum
i will hope she come visit me less often since im big enough to actually take care of myself
and if i had no injuries in my legs and can walk i think i wont be in bed the whole day
i will end up walking around the hospital, finding some nice scenery place where i can sit down and enjoy and think of things. :)
best to have someone to talk to, but i wont want myself to be too reliable and dependent
so, i shall skip that
having someone to actually eat dinner with me smiling, okay, skip that too
for some of my friends to visit me randomly?
that would be nice, to have people to actually kill my time and where i could talk cock
and well, many many more, half of them which i prefer to skip

so what if im in those kind of seriously state like inside intensive car or dependently relying on oxygen mask?
well, if i've got the energy left in me, i think within 10 days some wires that are connected to me will break off
reason? i cant stay still
and well, i will be seeing people visiting me while i grasping for breathe?
well, lets not think about it
one day when this happens i will know what will be life inside

there, monday im going for injection for my F1 work. :)
and also bring that indian for interview?
well, lets see how ba. :)

2010-09-07T00:19:00.002+08:00

i guess there isn't a second place for me to throw out my thoughts
my mind is exploding, but i just couldn't find someone to talk to about
you may be one, but i can't bring myself to talk about it to you
it's just not right everywhere
i guess sometimes, that's life..

there, i completed 3 papers and having the last one to go
wednesday will be my last paper
how am i feeling?
well, not so bad
neither am i feeling very excited like what i will tell people
reason? i don't know

i truly believe that for each decision that you choose in life,
it closes one path of life, but at the same time, it always open the other path for you to walk on
there is always a path that leads you further, just that its never a same path as others

Sometimes giving up in life makes you find something even better to cure your misery
by giving up, you closes a path that you want to go and at the same time, open another path that cure you out of misery

then there is another one

sometimes when you choose not to give up and continue bearing the misery, you get something in life that you wanted to achieve
by not giving up, you close a path for any other chances of pulling you out of your misery life and towards a even better life than now, but at the same time, you opened a path that you always longed to cross, a path that will too, cure your misery.

there, the last one

same scenario, you chooses not to give up and continue bearing the misery, however, you dont get what you want in the end.
by not giving up, you closed paths for any chances of pulling out of misery and maybe towards a better life, then you failed, another path closed for you.
there, you sat there alone in the corner, unsure of what to do, aimless and nothingness.
will you believe that a path will open for you?

life, how weird can it get?

recently, this sentence kept appearing in my senses
people say it, people wrote it, i hear it, i see it and i thought of it.

"If you really love someone, let it go. if it comes back to you, its yours. if it never, then it never was yours in the first place"

will you agree with this sentence?

i've been debating with myself twice in my life
recently, and way before
recently, i used myself and my current life as an example to the statement
i realise i couldnt agree with this statement
i know the problem why and totally know what i should do in life
to give up on it
but i couldnt
in the end, i have to lie to myself by rebutting this sentence with others i've seem to seen it in my life

"If you really love that someone, then you shouldn't even be letting go or think of letting go."
"Chances doesn't come as and when it likes"
"Miracles are created by humans themselves"
"You'll never know what will happen to you tomorrow"

there always have 2 ends to things, opposites of life, an angel and a devil, a hero and a villain.
they co-exist with one another, without the other, they can't be what they are.

i wish i had better skills in entertaining people and making people laugh.

i feel like creating a mechanism that could could see and access your thoughts immediately.
i wont mind sacrificing one eye for it.
i just want to understand you more and what you are thinking inside
open it up and grant me the access, will you?

2010-09-06T04:06:00.001+08:00

Soledad.
By: Westlife
Album: Coast to Coast

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll relise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

2010-09-02T15:36:00.003+08:00

unselfish love, does something like that even exist?
heard of anybody who could do that?
i don't think so.
other than actors in the movies and dramas..

well, tomorrow's my first paper, and i arent even anxious about it
i am thinking how i am suppose to study
well, maybe i will have a nap after my dinner then wake up in the middle of the night to study?
probably i can concentrate better during those times when everybody is sleeping
thinking back, thats how i study for my 'o' levels

remember the times when i studied for my 'o's
i was so hardworking
i feel anxious, excited bout it
but now, i dont even feel anything
perhaps i've already have no interest in studies

seems like my blog's kinda of emo.]
well, lets post something more happy
it appears that the new ipod touch is out
and believe it or not, i have a temptation to buy it
and not buying 1, but 2?
dont ask me why 2, i wont answer
or maybe an iphone 4 for myself with my current ipod touch 3g and another?

money is never a thing i cared about so much in my life
i mean, i do care in terms of getting my pay
but in terms of spending it, i wont think twice
as long as i spend on something relevant
if i bought something expensive, there is a reason in it
i wont find anything expensive and just buy it for the sake that its expensive

every incident makes me thought of you deeper
i forgot my worries and my responsibilities
i wish for things to go on running
lets make it to the finishing line steadily, hand in hand

grab me, and i'll hold you tight.

2010-08-30T23:57:00.001+08:00

well well, today while at the si ma lu bai bai, i realise something
i sort of give up hopes on myself
now, i wish for people around me and not myself
whenever i pray, i pray for the best of people around me
but seldom do i really pray for myself
is it that i lost hope in my religion?
or is it that i really gave up hope on myself?

often, i tell myself this:
no matter how useless i get, i must not affect the people around me
i cannot influence them to the bad side
i must contain the badness within my own self
no matter what, no one around me must follow my path

however, sometimes i become selfish
i want to actually share something in my life
i wna share my life with my loved ones
but in this state, i thought 'will i be a bad influence?'

well, so therefore, i've decided that if i were to share my life successfully,
i will try my very best to be a better person
to be how hardworking qiping once used to be
to to live my life without any regrets
thats what i will try to do

I wish i am better at my English
i wish i am better in my words expression
i wish i could easily think of words to say to you
how i wish i could express myself so easily,
and not forgetting what to say every time our eyes met
finding words to say on the spot isnt my type either
how i wish i have the ability to do that
but i will try my best,
my very best to make you smile as happily as you could whenever we talk
to tell you my whole life..

2010-08-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

There's always a brighter side in life we can look forward to.
Its just that the light is small, dim and difficult to find.
that is why we became so negative and depressed.

Its true that there is always a ray of light shining somewhere inside the darkness
but sometimes, we see it and refuse to walk towards it
why is this so?

looking on the bright side of life is a good thing.
being optimistic,
but sometimes, it becomes being too optimistic,
thats why we fall into traps and holes

sometimes i tried to be optimistic
but its not like i could do it everytime
one of my weakness in life as a human is sometimes not being able to be optimistic enough
and the other is being a little too paranoid.
one more other is linked is not getting that sense of security easily

this few days, i thought of how life meant to me
what i wanna achieve in life
how will people be affected if i were to get an aim or a purpose in life
well, if i were to get one, i would definitely have been a more confident man

i want everything in life to go smoothly
yes, now my life is quite smooth,
thats because im walking on endless flat land when people around me are climbing mountains
i would be having a smooth life, people around me would have a hard life with lots of bumps and obstacles
however, in the end, they will achieve something
they will reach the top of the mountain and die with their names carved on the mountain itself
while me, i will achieve nothing
continuing walking on the endless land and die being a nothing.

i realise i need someone to care about me
i need someone who would be there for me when im in need
appear out of nowhere when im lonely
a shoulders for me to lie on,
a lips to smile at me,
a body for me to hug on,
a heart for me to cherish on
well, that was just a wishful thought..

2010-08-20T14:10:00.000+08:00

WTF sia!!
Majiam coughing my throat out and sneezing my brain out la!! :(((((

2010-08-16T11:03:00.003+08:00

sometimes when you are feeling down, weak and aimless
you wish you had someone to hang on to
to give you hope and happiness
to share your sorrow and sadness

hugging tight, not letting go
sometimes, your pillow is the best closest thing you can ever get.

2010-08-11T18:17:00.003+08:00

i owed everyone a sorry.
here, i apologize.
sorry.
its my fault.
if im blame for your poor grades, or your bad studying environment, i will take it
i have to admit, its my fault
if i had not been lazy, this would not happen

bus journey is the best way for self reflection
i had mine when i was in the bus just now
it made me having no mood for anything
i guess, my blog is the only place i would dare to throw out everything thats in me

i was thinking of how responsible i'd been for the pass year
i wasnt good
i had never fulfill any of my responsibilities as anything..
the responsibility of being a treasurer, a leader, a student, a son..
non of that i've accomplished to a minimal requirement
wondering aimlessly everyday, having no aim in life
i dont want that life..
but i never know what to do with myself, how to push myself.
i wanted something fresh in my life where i can look forward to every tomorrow..
but thats more of an excuse..
its no difference from waiting for money to drop down from the sky
now im lost..

so dont feel like it anymore..

i want a person whom i can throw out everything thats in my mind almost everyday..
without even feeling the guilt that im disturbing her life..
without even having the worries that i will become his irritant..
i dont like the feeling of keeping things inside anymore..

2010-08-11T18:12:00.002+08:00

My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
So much for my happy ending
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
So much for my happy ending
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh)

Lets talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
So much for my happy ending
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they

But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the stuff that you do?

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
So much for my happy ending
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
So much for my happy ending
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

everytime i hear this song on my playlist, it makes me feel different
somehow, this song is a prove to myself of a once innocent and pure me..
its a song worth listening..

2010-08-01T16:51:00.003+08:00

i want a ring, a ring for me to wear, another for my girl.

well, things arent as interesting as it is these few days,
although there were some days in life i looked forward to
life's still as miserable overall, still as aimless..

2010-06-14T00:12:00.003+08:00

i never thought i still have something in me
you know, i never regret keeping those things under the dust
and im glad i did kept it
to this date, reading back what has happened so long ago made me realise how i was in the past
i missed who i used to be..
the time when we first started out
the innocence times..
you activated my nose, my thoughts and my sense of humor
i had the best memorable times with you

here, i want to thank you..

thank you for entering my life.

you've made an impact in my life, a positive one. you made me understand myself more.

thank you for teaching me things in my life that i would never forget.

you taught me what is love, what it means and how it feels like for the first time in my life

thank you for the unselfish love that you have given me

i've felt it and i feel appreciative of that.

thanks for everything you have given me

i never threw it away, i kept them to the best i could

i want to keep it this way
i want to make myself miss those times
i want to make myself miss who i am before
and i will constantly remind myself who i used to be before, how much i've changed
i want to make myself live my whole life regretting for my lifetime
and i want to make myself miss you and our times for the whole of my life..

i miss how we used to be
Qiping

Dreams In My Life

2010-06-03T12:43:00.004+08:00

Dreams..

i realise the problem in me
if i could anyhow catch one person inside my poly campus and ask him/her what he/she wants to be,
i bet out of everyone could give me an answer.
but i couldnt
i remember on quite a lot of occasion when different people asked me 'what you want to be when you grow up'?
i couldnt answer

everything you do has a purpose and a reason that you will do
you eat cos you are hungry
you wack the person cos he guai lan and so on
but i asked myself 'why do i study?'
i couldnt come out with an exact answer
normally people would have said something like 'i wna get a degree in this area and become a boss and earn lots of money'
i will give the same answer too..
but the problem isnt here. the problem is with 'this area'
what area do i want to focus on?
which area exactly do i want to profession myself on?
i dont know
when there is no reason to do something that you are doing right now, that something becomes a burden
same as love.
when its gone, all thats left is burden and burden.

its a fact that i dont have BIG dreams in my life,
a dream big enough to have take over my life like a drug
i never had one

so hows my life? pretty predictable huh?
no interest in studies, taking studies as a burden instead
shows no interest in life
no matter how much intelligence i gain, its of no use
a person without dreams is like lost, wild cat

2010-05-12T21:10:00.002+08:00

well, know what..
sometimes i feel life's sooo great
but sometimes, i feel so empty
and sometimes, i feel sooo lonely..

there were so many things that i wna throw out, to tell someone
but it dosent seems like there is someone i can talk to, to throw out my thoughts..
im done with keeping everything inside me like i use to do when i was young..
now, i just wna try opening up a little..
to try to start pouring my thoughts out bit by bit..
a little more by a little..

well, im thinking of life those few weeks.. it seems so random
dont know why
ha, well, lets talk some nice things
i bought a ipod touch! :)
well, i was considering whether to buy or not
and in the end i decided to buy
no real reason why, i just wna feel the touch screen :)
now its filled with applications! :)
just hope i dont get tired of it soon!

well, seems long since i last work
like going 2 weeks??
gonna work soon
i wna maintain the money i've save in my bank
i want more money in my bank!
well, for that, who dosent want right?
everybody wishes for more money
money dosent solve all problems, but you can say that money actually satisfy one person to some extend
you cant deny that,
touch your heart and you'll know its true
money lets you buy food to make you happy
lets you buy your wants to make you happy
it isnt everything, but its something
and for some people, it is everything they want their husband/boyfriend to have
so they can spend all of that, sit down and rock chair and do nothing at home
not spending a single cent.
FAT HOPE!!

i wna eat french beans!! :(

memories were memories, but i wonder whether those memories still exist..
or am i the same as those normal people? thrown away and forgotten?

2010-04-25T15:59:00.002+08:00

HEY HEY!!!!
so long since i last blog..
well, i just dont feel like blogging
i want to make it like i blog because i want to, not because i have the need to
right now, i feel so right
i have so much things in mind now that i want to say
but no
i think its better if i keep it inside my mind
but well, lets talk about some other thing
i feel so great when im working
now because of the workload, but because of the people there
dont know why, i feel good when i go to work
maybe cos i have friendly people to talk and crap with
and aside from the managers, people were so great
if you ask me to leave my work now and concentrate on my studies, i wouldnt want
it will be like having no life like that

mummy gave me a radio player to put on my desk!!
so from now on, i will be listening to radio stations!! :))

i wonder how much you have grown..
indeed, i felt you've grown up and even more matured since then
everything was still there
i was thinking of those times back then
but nothing matters anymore
i hope you had live your days as happy as you could possibly could and make good of whatever that come your way,
you are a smart person :)
jiayous! :)

2010-04-06T12:54:00.002+08:00

hi there! i thought its time to blog since its been l=long since i last blogg
welll, what to say
i realised i spent most of the day out
or rather, most of the days working
since friday morning, i was never home until early monday morning
and i definitely slept less than 6 hours a day
i remember when i was listening to briefing on sunday, i almost feel like lying down in the middle of nowhere and just sleep like that
tml i will be back to work
and for 4 days straight
after that next week wed will be my last day that week
then thursday friday sat and sun shall be my rest days and shopping days!! :D
GOODY!!
then i will see whether i shall continue working when school reopens :)
well well, dont really have the mood of blogging, so i shall blog till here ba!
tata!!~

2010-03-27T17:23:00.002+08:00

i feel guilty..
for living my life the way i wanted and not caring about the people around me..
for living my life like a moon, going round and round the same planet, knowing you will never reach the planet due to gravity nature and sorts
but sorries arent me. they cant change anything
actions can

but whether or not i will take actions is another thing
i want to live my life as a rich person with all my needs and wants fulfilled
but it always dosent seem to be the case

after living my life for 17 years, i realise how impactful money is
its an invention that changes people, making people greedy
and for me, i have to admit, i am a human
and most of the time, i tried to push money aside
i wanted a friendship, or something more valuable and precious than money
and at the same time, i wanted money too.
sounds kinda weird, but well.....

i brought the best and nicest memories with me..

2010-03-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

its been so long since i last update my blog
well, kinda busy this few days
err, ok la, i admit, sometimes is cos i lazy
but its also cos i working this few days, thats why :)
sunday i work, continued to monday without sleeping
actually got one hour of sleep de, but just cant sleep
then monday work until 5 pm
actually wna go band after that, but mr tan sick never come, and i damn tired, so i didnt went
tuesday worked 7, until like 12midnight
then wednesday, which is yesterday \, worked from 9 to 0230am
today is rest day! :D
at least i will have a day to rest my leg so that i can tarhan next week
tml will be work again, then saturday rest!
saturday is the 'go bedok buy thing' day :)
need to buy socks, shoe and pants if possible
then sunday work again, all the way until wed
thiursday rest and friday again until sunday!
i think i will earn quite a lot of money :)
ha! well, post until here ba!! TATA!! :)

work is something that could make you throw aside everything else
and music is something that makes you remember the things you threw aside
in the end, it goes back to square one...

2010-03-14T23:51:00.005+08:00

time to blog!
well, what have i been doing for the last few days? actually i also forgot what i did on friday liao
saturday i went working at morning 9
then until 1720, i was asked by the stupid ha ba gou to either go cut my hair or go home
bloody hell, everytime i work i also wax my hair until i no more side burn he still catch me and pul down my side burn. idiot!
so i went to meet derrick, katsu and kelvin and went to IT fair
bought a 320GB hard disk from hermawan with my one day old money. tsk!
then went pool and then took mrt home
realised i really need to spent a lot on topping up of my card when i dont have concession
after reporting home i went aljunied mac to wait for people
first came was andrina, then was jiahui, derrick
then yuliana after her work
we planned to ton there until morning
so we talk talk talk
but i talk a bit only jiu tired liao
in the end become they 4 talk then i went to take a nap
until 4am, when the macdonald menu changed
i was so happy!
cause i was waiting for it to change ma :D
ate deluxe breakfast!!
ok, a bit regret eating that cos for wtice when i ate the hotcakes, i feel like shitting
so next time i shall not eat that anymore
went to shit and i like bombing the whole toilet like that. tsk tsk.
then went to playground to chat a while before asking them to go home cos i too tired
in the end went home at 5 something and slept until 2 when that stupid vege called me ask me wake up
then ate and bathe before heading down to cini to meet them
i was late, cos we are suppose to meet at 3
then i reach like 1540 or something like that
and im the earliest person there la!! TSK!!
and cos i took bus 5 there, so i need walk from far east
then cos its rainning, so i like walking very very cautiously cos i scared i fell down
so, in the end when the 5 of us met (again), we went pastamania for andrina, derrick and yuli to fill their stomach
then went to see the timing of nodame in cathay
but all fell until 11 something de
so went walking to Plaza sing instead
and i realised everything related to outings always ended up in plaza sing
had quite a dispute before we decided to buy nodame tickets in FIRST ROW!!!!
omg.. when we watch is like.. omg..
but the show quite nice la
the orchestra quite good! love the songs :)
by the time we watch finish is like 8 something?
then had quite a while before deciding to eat at food court
by the time we eat finish is like 10
then bussed home
well, till here! tml still need to fetch my daddy ay like 11 something
so need wake up early :(

you didnt know
now, when i get to familiar places, i did the usual thing i always will do with you

2010-03-11T13:17:00.009+08:00

Do you think i care what the hell you've said? no.
Do you think i care if i am pronounce a bastard? no.
Do you think i didnt thought this would happen? no.

please, you just made me think i am so much a genius to ever predict a person's move
i've never told anybody MY very own story
even to my close and best friends
no one ever knew, even people who thought they knew
and you know whats the reason? because i am tired looking at that mask and i just wanna put an end to this
i am seriously tired looking through that bloody thing
and i dont want to take a job of an advisor of a General at war
i've got quite an open eye experience at things
so, thanks. you thought me a lot, congratulate yourself for that
so this is my last sentence to you ever on my blog:
BYE! and HAVE FUN!

guess what, i've predicted your next move.
i dont want things to go this way, but too bad
you started this and you know me
i HATE to be stepped on.
too bad, i've already made this the last post i will ever made on my blog for this, wasted
but it also means you are free to hit me with anything now leh! :)
somehow, i feel so happy and joyous now. :D
one word to describe me now, bastard! HAHAHA!!
but who cares, i am already proclaimed one to some of your friends and you yourself already
do you think i give a damn, NO!! HAHAHA!!! :DD

2010-03-11T12:40:00.002+08:00

hi! its been long since i blogged
cos i was working on tuesday and wednesday
and now i feel damn good
althought i didnt had much sleep, but i was so glad that i earn bout 200 in 2 days! :)
and work those 2 days were quite slacky
first day was doing breakout room
and i was spamming hot chocolate that day
then the second day was at ballroom doing the sports event
also damn slack
spent half of my day walking round and round in circles doing nothing
the only thing i did was to change ash trays, help one booth take their things up to the lobby and help with doing the room service order
nothing more
so damn slack la!
but i think i need to buy new shoes liao
my shoe spoil liao
now wear that time walk will pain

oh, and i've been farting a lot for the last 2 days
i guess cos i anyhow eat and drink
cos this 2 days de event can drink and eat
so dont are de
whatever can eat can drink all go in to my mouth
like one second hot choco, then 10 seconds later is mango juice
well, but i was so glad that i could earn my money so easily
lasy time is damn damn hiong de lo
and im back to the busy days! :)
everyday is either band, work, or go out with friends
but tml i think im staying at home ba
like nothing do de
well, i think i will post till here! maybe i will post again tomorrow :)
tata~~

11.11

2010-03-08T13:47:00.002+08:00

hihi! kinda long since i last posted on my blog
well, i've been kinda busy in a way
sat went to mrs teo's house for a visit
its a sort of yearly thing for our class
crapped with her and talked about the bad days of our secondary school life
talk until she said this 'waa, actually after hearing this your class isnt that good a class'
HAHA!! well, thats us!
then we splited into 2 cabs to janet's house
had some tv there then BBQ! :)
didnt really ate much though
just some satay and hotdog and chicken wings only
then was a trip outside to nearby her house to eat some frosty thing
kinda nice, but the milk frost a bit no taste, i only taste until the strawberry
then was back to her house for phototaking before drinking session
it started with beer, then to absolut vodka
played games and the loser drinks
for texas is the winner drink :D
until when every bit of alcohol finishes, i feel myself at the limit liao
anymore and i would go drunk
then was talking session and at 4, i wasnt in dreamland
the reason why is cause im having heavy blocking nose and i couldnt sleep
until like 4 something 5 then i sleep
then was morning called up at 6
and batheddd and then facebooked a while before leaving her house at 7 to take bus to my work place
reached at like 8 and spent some time sitting at the toilet to cultivate my shit to come out
then was breakfast before working
and i can say work is damn damn damn damn slack!!!
slack until like shit i tell you!
damn slack!
until me and chen sheng went to polish the signboard frame
went for KFC session after work
and its peng kiat's last day at work
after that went home and updated myself on my laptop before sleeping

well, thats about all for my busy days
for today will be band later
the tuesday will work, if dismiss early will go find ritz people for cycling!! :)
wednesday work again
omg! the days of chionging of work is coming back!! im gonna earn lots of money! WOO~~
then thurs is band
friday is nothing on
sat is work and sun is nothing on
monday is band and tues is metting up with ritz people to pulau ubin!! :)
ok, time to end my post!! tata~~

living in memories

2010-03-05T12:05:00.002+08:00

[we are the world] haiti; its a nice song
somehow, its a song that makes influence on people
i liked this kind of songs

anyway, had band ytd after like one month
freshman year ones are starting to enter the band
it will become a totally new atmosphere again
and today's band meeting again
gonna decide when to cut practices, after that i maybe will have more time working
and hopefully they give me more days to work
gonna buy lots of things :)
mummy said she giving me 50bucks to buy berms, so i will have like 4 more berms! :)
maybe can ask kelvin out again, then we can shop and talk. :)
i realise everytime i wna buy clothes i will ask him out, a bit gay la, but guys you know, somehow will have guys stuff to talk, right kelvin?? :DD
and i also wna buy a bagpack! :) maybe a leather one!
plus one more shoulder bag!! those big big one, not so female de, then can put lots of shit inside. :)
but i think shoulder bag should be much later than buy la.
oh! and say until buying things, i found my ear ring yesterday!! :)
go glad about it, cos its like lost a few months liao, that time new year i wna wear then tried to find also cannot find

waa, this few days stucking at home is bad man!
like totally no life, everyday watch movie
and say until movie, i haven wattch noname
the one azri said very nice and must watch de
gonna watch that like soon too
and house also, its kinda nice, but i think if i ever tried hard to learn my bio stuffs, the show will be even nicer
but anyway, i wna have a life, but not now..

oh! and sometime when i feel like it, im gonna download new songs!! :)
i dunno if i wna download latest hits english songs, cos i haven been updating that for like more than half a year now
which means my playlist is like over due half a year
but i know if i ever start shasing, i think i will invest quite a lot of time on it
maybe i'll see how, but i just wna expand my playlist
so it will have more variety
cos some songs is like every tiem kena picked by the player and keep on playing
very sian de

ok, shall post till here, gonna bathe now :)
tata~

2010-03-05T12:04:00.000+08:00

We Are The World 25 For Haiti Lyrics

[Justin Bieber]
There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
[Nicole Scherzinger & Jennifer Hudson]
When the world must come together as one
[Jennifer Hudson]
There are people dying
[Jennifer Nettles]
And it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
[Josh Groban]
We can’t go on
Pretending day by day
[Tony Bennet]
that someone, somehow will soon make a change
[Mary J Blige]
We are all a part of
God’s great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
[Michael Jackson]
We are the world
We are the children
[Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Barbra Streisand]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Miley Cyrus]
Send them your heart
So they’ll know that someone cares
[Enrique Iglesias]
so their cries for help
will not be in vain
[Nicole Scherzinger]
We can’t let them suffer
no we cannot turn away
[Jamie Foxx]
Right now they need a helping hand
[Wyclef Jean]
Nou se mond la
We are the Children
[Adam Levine]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so lets start giving
[Pink]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[BeBe Winans]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Michael Jackson]
When you’re down and out
There seems no hope at all
[Usher]
But if you just believe
There’s no way we can fall
[Celine Dion]
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change can only come
[Fergie]
When we stand together as one

[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Nick Jonas]
Got to start giving
[All]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[Toni Braxton]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me
[Mary Mary]
We are the world
We are the children
[Tony Bennet]
Its for the children
[Isaac Slade]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
[Toni Braxton]
So lets start giving

[Lil Wayne]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Akon]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we make a better day
Just you and me

[T-Pain]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Jamie Foxx imitating Ray Charles]
Choice were making
saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Rapping - LL Cool J, Will-I-Am, Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes, Swizz Beatz]
We all need somebody that we can lean on
when you wake up look around and see that your dreams gone
when the earth quakes we’ll help you make it through the storm
when the floor breaks a magic carpet to stand on
we are the World united by love so strong
when the radio isn’t on you can hear the songs
a guided light on the dark road your walking on
a sign post to find the dreams you thought was gone
someone to help you move the obstacles you stumbled on
someone to help you rebuild after the rubble’s gone
we are the World connected by a common bond
lyrics courtesy of www.killerhiphop.com
Love the whole planet sing it along
[Wyclef]
CABARETT

[Chorus - All]

[Kanye West]
Everyday citizens
everybody pitching in

[Singing - Children & Wyclef Jean]
Nou se mond la
nou se timoun yo

[Will-I-Am]
You and I
You and I
[Kanye West]
Uh, 12 days no water
whats your will to live?
[Will-I-Am]
we amplified the love we watching multiply
[Kanye West]
Feeling like the Worlds end
we can make the World win
[Will-I-Am]
Like Katrina, Africa, Indonesia
and now Haiti needs us, the need us, they need us

[Chorus - All]
[Wyclef Jean]
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay

2010-03-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

well well, time to blog..
been kinda frustrated with the coordinator in ritz
only give me work 2 days when i can work 5 days in a week
so miss the previous coordinator..
actually life's kinda boring now, especially when you arent really working
i like the days when im working
its gives me money to spend on myself, friends to joke to and brothers that makes me enjoy my hard day there

ah.. well well, band tomorrow
kinda like so long since last band practice
think got like one month le ba?
but i think the atmosphere now will be so much different

and i think i have some random resolutions in my mind
1. to stop drinking sugar or carbonated water everyday, including bandung
2. to stop eating kinder bueno everyday
3. to stop having cravings for food
well well, sounds kinda random, but when you are not working, its better to stay away from those food
its damn damn fattening
bad for health

oh ya! and im actually finding new themes for my windows 7 destop background theme
i had crime scene theme and music theme, now i dunno what theme i want to find

i realise im having some temptation of downloading games on my laptop for myself to play
but i actually stopped myself from doing that
becoming a game addict is no good and no life
i want to socialise with people, but not in the near future
until i find myself haveing more money then i will do that :)
oh ya, and say until this
gonna have trunpet section outing soon!!! :)

ok, so here come the part on my gad damn logic
you know what? everybody has unimaginable powers; powers that makes the impossible possible
but when it concerns 2 parties, it will take 2 hands to clap
to make the impossible possible, 2 parties must work hand in hand, decide on the same thing, having the same goal, the same mindset, the same heart
those are the key ingredients for making a successful revival
both have to do their part..
in this case, its never about different positions
its never about 'im a girl, those are not the things i do, only guy do those things'
when only one party is giving a 100% and the other party wasnt giving support, whether moral or physical support, the the whole thing would fail
to go against the flow of nature, you will need at least some moral support
without that, you sure lose
its like a soccer match without fans, you lose moral, and you give up

never miss the chance to say out whats inside your heart / never missing the chance to say i love you
yes, its true, thats the way to live life without regrets
but its always easier said than done
thats why living life without regrets is one big everyday challenge

ok, i think im actually talking craps and just some boring and random stuffs that's on my head
sorry for this boring post, shall go now! tata~~

i thought we sort of had a promise to each other..
or is it only me who is treating it as a promise?

its dying..
revive it!!! help me..

2010-03-02T20:26:00.002+08:00

just came back from CCA camp
well, had quite a lot of fun there, made lots of new friends
they teach you on how to understand yourself better and what kind of leader you exactly are
and i realise i am a D type of leader
well, maybe i shouldnt be so happy about being that kind of leader, but dunno why, i just seems so happy i am that kind
i just find it unique in me :)

ok, so, what have i achieve during this 2 days of camp?
hmm... actually i also dunno
i only know i made quite a number of friends
and i've enjoyed all the games i've played
and that i have enjoyed my stay in there
so, what else did i accomplish during the camp?
oh! i watched 'we were soldiers'
damn nice movie! totally loved it!! :)
and i think next time i can reuse some games that i've played for rondeau camp maybe??

well, lets post some random things on my mind right now
you know why retards are much happier?
here's the answer given by me
its because they dint think so much
they live their life every single day to their fullest, without any worries
and again, to reverse the statement, it actually mean this;
thinking too much everyday will just make you feel more sad, depress, stress and more stress
i think im one who thinks too much
but sometimes i wish it was because i think too much and not because i was right in my thoughts
sometimes i was right in my thoughts, but certainly i dont wish for this time
ok, i think im drifting away from the topic more and more
why i would think of this is that actually when i doont think of my responsibility of my role in band, i would only have one task in hand to do
but when i think more and more, im starting to have even more and more things that i need to do
its like im doing nothing but finding troubles for myself
sometimes, i dont carry out my own responsibilities.. i push them aside
i am one person who dont carry out his responsibilities as a student to work hard and study hard and excel
but i could say that im one who knows that whatever responsibilities i have, i would classify them under things that feel important and impactful on my life, and things that are not so important to me

i think i will start work tomorrow
for now, i just wna rest..

it seems that i could never reach you..

2010-02-28T20:12:00.002+08:00

spent my day ytd at downtowneast chalet with ritz buddies
a lot of people came though, and some of them i dont even know de
but then there were people that i know also :)
so, actually i was suppose to meet those people at 2 in the afternoon, but i woke up at 2 instead cos i slept at 4 something the previous night

ok,before that, lets talk about the day before, i had OT until 0330 and my cab was at 4
so, the cab sent me home and then when i open the wooden door that time i realise the wooden door was locked
and only mummy had access to the key of the lock from the outside since only she has the key
normally when everybody's at home in the night, we will lock the door from the inside
but then tonight dunno who went to lock the door before i came back, so i was like stuck outside the house
then i had was thinking whether i want go bedok reservoir de mac to spent my remaining night
but i thought maybe i can msg me mum see whether she awake
and luckily she was awake and opened the door for me :)

ok, come back to the topic
i woke up at 2 and went to bathe and then to bedok to cut hair before heading to white sands to meet them
but i thought my hair was a bit weird now
so long since i ever had such a short hair on the my top to the extend that i can spike it
but my side burn was long, and it feels weird, cos it will start to curl. :(
then my fringe got a cut too :(
it wasnt a nice one
i didnt ask the stupid hairdresser to cut my fringe thinner and she cut it! tsk!
ok, never mind, so, meet with people and had 2 trolleys of goods pushed from white sands to downtown
played a bit of gambling (woops!!) before starting the fire and then the dinner drinking
but well, i lost quite a bit if money, like maybe 2 bucks something?
then after that was drinking the absolute vodka that hong wei brought
and then beer too
and i realise i still prefer carlsberg
ok, actually i wont prefer beer, cos i dont want the beer stomach
but anyway, we actually intended to go pool
but then peng kiat's wallet was lost somehow and we looked around to find it
and in the end, guess what..
we guys ended up tao pok-ing people in the bed =.=
after that we didnt managed to find, but still went for pool
but pool closed and their last game is liked at 12 something
so we went arcade for a while before heading back for the second round of gambling
this time i lost all my coins, and decided niit to play anymore
until they started playing this game called 'in between'
i thought it was a good game to gain back all my lost money
and that stupid kok heng
seriously, he got the sueh mouth, and the affinity with the number 2, especially diamond 2
and its what kept us laughing while losing/winning money
he a damn entertainer!
i had to salute him, i think even the ones who lost their money also lost it happily
and he himself lost 30 bucks that day! HAHA!!
oh, and i won back my money!!
10 bucks worth of coins! :D (i went home changing it with avon, cos i want my avon to have lots of coins :DD)
then went beach to watch the sunrise while listening to ghost stories
i had to admit that it was damn damn cold with strong wind before the sun is up
im like shivering
that had another tao pok session before heading to mac to eat breakfast and then listening to craps
was talking about our first impression of jun ming, the expressionless man, when we came in to ritz to work and the first time we see him
damn funny :D
then headed to pool before i left them at around 11 to go home
went home on bus 21 and bathe, shitted and brush teeth before heading to balestier to help buy yu sheng for today last day of chinese new year to lao
came back home is like 2, and went to sleep after awaking for 24 hours
was forced to wake up and had my dinner
so, i thought i would finish my facebook games and postings before going to sleep
tml still got the CCA camp, its 2 days and 1 night
and gotta report 8am in the morning.. SOOOO EARLY!!
well, i still gotta pack my bag later
so, shall end my post here, tata peeps!!~~~~

pictures of you...

2010-02-26T11:42:00.004+08:00

maybe, maybe..
maybe this will be the first thing in my life that i had ever regret for life
i've regretted things in my life, but i've never regretted them for the whole of my life..
but this looks like something that i will regret for the rest of my whole life
i dont want.. but, it serve me right..
people says 'fate and destiny is decided my your own very hands, not by god'
now, i believed that..
but was i too late for that?
i dont know

but i saw the eyes, i saw the look in those eyes, the way it could have felt..
i could see, because i experience that kind of feeling before..
the looks, and those looks..

now im lost..
lost in the ocean of hell, i dont think i could ever get up
i sinked too deep into the ocean
but i will still stick to what i thought
i will still determine on
no matter what, if i ever would have to make a choice, i would make sure i dont become the extra calafei
but till then, i will still stick to what i've said
i will

here i am, i've return home from yet another day in loft
went to loft ytd for steamboat, to bid farewell to melicia for her attachment trip to England
then went to airport to send her off into the gates

this was taken during Rondeau XXIV

to my dearest retired treasurer,
take care and have a safe journey!! :)
you will be missed, and i will do my job well :)

ok, i dont think i could come out with a topic to talk about in my post now
so, i shall end my post her
tata~~

i hope, i hope..
but saying my hearts out here wouldnt be a good idea
there, i shall find a place to throw out my thoughts..

since then, i think i've lost something important in my life, and here i am
struggling to live without it
i realised i cant
and i dont think any humans can live without it too..

2010-02-24T19:46:00.006+08:00

i have a million unspoken words to say
but the moment i saw you, everything seems so blank
sometimes i remembered, but i just couldnt find the right time to open my mouth
i could only stare at you, nothing would come out of my mouth

well, sorta had quite a day
ytd went loft after my cell bio paper
the paper (luckily) is kinda okay
not as hard as i ever thought
maybe can pass! :D
ok, went loft there and tried to sleep from 1 to 3 something
lying on the bed for like so long, but failed to sleep
somehow just cannot sleep
so, studied for a while
then had dinner at pizza hut with henry, jianshen, sihui and melicia
had quite a laugh there :)
then went back loft and i tried to sleep foor the second time
i told myself i will sleep at 10 and wake up at 1
so, i started cultivating the feeling to sleep at 9, but at 10 something i still couldnt sleep
so i went eating my instant noodles (apparently with a scissors, cos dont have fork)
then started studying until like 6 something
with coffee and green tea keeping me awake
then went bathe warm water!!
omg, its such a nice thing to be able to bathe warm water
LOVE IT!! :)
oh, and after that i really a bit tired cannot take it, so took a nap from 7 till 8
and then went out with jian shen to tackle our last paper
i went out 15 mins before the paper ended, reason being just nice i finish, and i feel like shitting
cos i know if i never shit and stayed inside, i wouldnt have the concentration and mood to continue thinking
so i decided to just pass up the paper and went convention centre to shit
and went back to loft
slept for like less than an hour and suddenly came awake for some reasons
then went eat with them at canteen 2 before going back loft to sleep again
this time i finally could sleep longer
woke up at 5 something going 6 and packed my bag before leaving loft to home
feels a little tired now, but i want to make sure i sleep at the right time, the time where i usually sleep

it wasnt the way i wanted this storyline to end
but i've learn to face reality
therefore, i didnt had that much disappointment that i would have before learning to face reality
but this isnt the end of everything
im prepared for the second volume of the book, where the story continues
where the journey starts again
im waiting patiently
im clinging on..

i really wish to turn back time
i want to feel those moments again
those were the finest moments that i ever had
they were the nicest parts
the parts where i couldnt have experience it now
but i know that i couldnt defy the law of physics
that i couldnt turn back time
so im gonna move on
im gonna create a world somehow
a world awaiting for you
for those finest moments to happen for the second time
trust me, i will
i will prove it with actions rather than words alone

2010-02-23T14:14:00.002+08:00

every place has a memory..
i could never forget..
the good days, the good memories..
right where i am.. here..
always thinking of those days..
and today definitely is one re-memorable day..
except that its imagined in my mind..
imagine every single thing you see makes you think of a scene.. :))

how do i describe this..
its like an acceptance plus a rejection..
yes, its not even a logical sentence, even i couldnt make any logic about that sentence that i typed..
i understand half, the other half i didnt understand..
i couldnt get anything to make myself understand..
but i learned my lesson..
i've learn to accept reality (im not saying im giving up, never would i do that)
i've learn to see and think about things base on reality
i learned not to daydream too much..

well, im at loft now
sorta cold here, but i liked
i always liked the life of being at the loft
i dont mean i want to stay here forever, but once in a while, and i enjoyed a lot
the freedom to fly lose like a bird
having aircon in the room, turning the laptop on for as long as i want, warm showers..
feeling kinda joy of being alone, away from the world..
at least for now, i enjoyed it..

sometimes you get naggggg by parents, ask you do this do that
i personally dont liked, and i sometimes give them the face
ya, i know thats wrong, i've been trying to correct myself
imagine myself being a dad, and my child doing this to me, it would definitely be hurtful
sometimes we youngsters just want our private space and not disturbed
but everytime i thought of this.. its always comfortable on a part of your heart that parents are nagging at you..
its their nagging that makes you feel in place, feel home..
imagine one day when you get home and you suddenly found yourself alone..
just you and you alone and you have still a long years to come being alone
im not being foul mouth, but they are part and parcel of life that generally everyone will face
when that day happens, it will be your saddest day
u'll be kneeling down and say 'naggg at me please!' when u know its never gonna happen again
by then it would be too late
you'll have to readapt to life and bear with the pain of not having someone irritating your ears
saying grandmother stories to you
the stories of life when policemen are still wearing shorts running around
never miss those moments, enjoy them now while you can
dont fight back, smile back :)

2010-02-21T22:06:00.001+08:00

wow, ok, mummy and daddy's watching chingay on the tv now
and somehow, i heard the happy birthday song being played
reminds me of birthdays ok, there were the memorable ones and the not so memorable ones
and im not referring to my own birthdays but celebrating people's birthday
but come to think of my birthdays for the last 16 years, the worst one was still when i was primary 6
on that day of my birthday, i was collecting my PSLE results
i went in happily, telling my mum that i would definitely do the same as my sis, getting 220 for my score and going damai sec
and even if no 220 also got at least 200
but i came out telling my mum that i got 188 for my PSLE score
and was scolded like hell for that
but i never regret getting that score
because getting into manjusri did develop me into this young adult here :)
the friends i made, the experience i got, and unforgettable things that i've encountered
and well, somehow i think myself as a quite clever, unique and special person
during my primary school days, i never liked myself and i always admire others
and i never liked my name
i was thinking: qi ping this name.. what a weird name is this? why my mum give me this name?
like the whole world very little people name qi ping and i just got the name
but now, i started to liked myself and my own name
i feel my name is so special and so unique
plus my surname, i think it makes me one of a kind :)
i dont think there are much people out there that has the surname HENG! :)
and even if they had, they would never had their chinese name as WANG
(in chinese, its written as 3 horizontal strokes and one vertical)
i think i had a friend who is name heng, but chinese he is huang instead
and my sec school got one more, but i dunno his chinese name is what
but i think im unique and special!! :)
and last time, i used to style my hair
i remember when i was in primary school, my style was right, left, right, then left parting :D
and when i say parting, its really parting, like u can see the one line of skin one
then when i was in sec school, the style was armani style
i put like damn lots of gel on my front to make it parallel to the ground :DD
and i always complain to my mum that i want to cut hair, cos my hair a while jiu long liao, then too heavy cannot style. HAHA!!
and and!! i remember when i was young, during my innocent period that time, i cut slope on my back
omg, that style really sucks man!
cos i (suspect) i have long neck, longer than average neck
and when i cut slope, my whole neck from the back was like expose.. omg....
then after that i rebelled, and never cut that style liao :D
well, on why i suspect my neck long is cause it looks long, feels tired easily, and when i grew long hair, my hair can go longer then what normal people can before getting caught by the DM
OH!! AND AND!! THIS ONE IS DEFINITELY A JOKE!!
U"LL LAUGH LIKE HELL!!
last time my side burn was... curled outside
i tell you! anybody who saw my hair curled out and knew me all laugh at me!!
thats why i never liked to take pictures when i was young

but now is totally different
i dont really care about my looks so much
cos i was thinking, if people should ever liked you, they should like you base on your personality, not the looks
looks are deceiving and they dont last
looks are first impression of people
onces you looked acceptable, you passed somehow
you dont need to look go to make girls melt
impressed them by personality and characteristic, thats the way!! :D

haha! so much about me, well, off i go for now!! tata!! :)

so much of what happened..
i want to be sure that im just paranoid
but i just couldnt master the courage to speak to you about any other thing else
i tried, and i failed, and now, i dont dare to try again..
anyway, just a sentence that i want to tell you
good luck for your exams :)

2010-02-20T17:35:00.006+08:00

hmm, this one is from blogskin, apparently somebody edited it and posted it and i happen to find this image
well, lets talk about today, its been a fine day
but during the night this few nights, its never been a fine night
my bed seems to be drifting away from me
now when i lie on the bed, i no longer feel that my bed is comfy anymore
it just feels different
and i cant sleep during the nights
my legs arent behaving too!
they are just like.. too active
they cant stop moving!
normally i would clamp them between my bed and the wall,
but now it seems no use too
the spacing between the wall and the bed seems weird too
everything is like so so weird!!!
i ever tried sleeping at 9, but i flipped on the bed until 10.30pm, still cannot sleep..
i tried sleeping at 12 and 1am also, still cant sleep
everytime, without fail, i always end up flipping on my bed until 2 something or 3 then can sleep
i dont know why..
maybe is cause i daydream of too much stuff
but even if i daydream i will eventually sleep, not as bad as now
since a few days ago jiu start like that liao
sian..
the worst one was on the day of my biostats paper
i slept at 12, and its like 2 and a half hours later im still wide awake
then i woke up at 6 by my alarm, and i felt 2 things
first was that i dont feel that i did sleep much
second was that i dont feel tired
dunno why, just dont feel tired, but just plain lazy to get up and study
so i set my alarm at 7.30.
and when i wake up, i feel damn damn tired.
its like so screwed up!
tsk!

its been a week..
its like within one week, so many things happened
i dont know why
i dont know what you are thinking
in case you did read this, tell me, tell me what are you thinking
yes, its you, you, its you
dont keep me in suspense.. please..

2010-02-19T19:07:00.011+08:00

When you had the enjoyable day of your life;
When it felt so great like no other;
When you felt no worries, no burden, no stress;
When you almost forgot what you had to do;
When Time seems to pass so fast, that you just lose track of it;
When you laugh so hard till you could never stop laughing;
When you think of those things that happen and daydream about it at times..

i saw that moments in you, in your eyes, in your expressions
those moments were never the ones with me
that moments, that place, its where you truly belong

nevertheless, i wont give up just yet, not till the last moments where all hopes are gone
i will continue to create that world
waiting for you to enter and settle yourself inside
i know its difficult, but i dont care
i dont give a damn about it
i will continue to stand behind you
watching you from the back
and this time, catching you while you fall
i will try till the very end..
to create a world just for you alone..

well, its been quite a day
im really quite grateful to my cassmates, stephen especially
for asking me to come to school early just to clear my doubts
although i know i never did well in the exams, but i am truly grateful for offering your help
i will work hard next sem
i will try my best to see chan sii pan yan more next sem
i think if i roughly calculate, i dont think i even accumulate looking at her for more than say 6 hours??
i spent all my lectures sleeping
all my tutorial eating, sleeping and daydreaming
so well, maybe next sem i will try my best to see her like.. hmm, accumulate up one day??
one week got like 3hrs lecture plus 1hr tutorial, so one week is 4hrs
lets say one week i just see her 2hrs, add up also got 24hrs ba? :D
ok, lets not be calculative
i dont think i want to discuss about my paper ba?
i dont even know what to reject, what to take to find to reject
parameter also not sure how to write..

ok, lets talk about some other things :)
hmm.. what to talk about neh? oh! im starting to getting to know avon! :)
she is just like right in front of me
and i think the dress she wore is more of like a shirt?? (ok, dont get me wrong, avon is NOT a living thing, its a bear! :D)
and i realise that i could actually strip her off her clothes.. oops, sounds kinda sick huh. TSK!!!
ok la, hmm.. lets describe more about my messy table
well, its a nice table, long one, and messy though
the left 3 cabinets is occupied by my mum, to put some candle stuffs
then the right 3 cabinets is totally mine
the first compartment is like 'WOAH!! SO MANY ___ ______ pens!!
(anybody saw me taking a pen before should know what pens im referring to)
like a few dozens of them man!!
and lots of other that i could actually take home with me :DD
the second compartment is spoilt, dunno how to explain in words on how is its state, anyway, inside only got like packets of tissue papers??
the third compartment? ok, its all damn rubbish stuffs :DD
cos i cant really put my paper and textbooks and notes inside because of its odd length and width
(ya lor! dunno how the designer design de, design dao so fail! tsk!)
then below is a box (i shall not say whats inside, its been like 3-4 years old??) and my bag ans files and laptop case and a one-side acer destop speaker? HAHA!!
then comes my table top
i shall not say much, let the picture speak for me! :)

haha! well, it looks ok right? u know why? cos i took the whole table
try zooming in and u'll be like 'OMG!!' HAHA!!
ok la, i will pack when i finish my exams :)
hmm, shall post till here ba! till next time! :)

yes, i feel like an idiot..
but i think if i ever was given another chance on how i should go about it, i would do the same thing over again..
i would choose the same path..
till now, i have never regret going through what i've gone

i've sink deep down the ocean
and its been deep now
i dont think i can get up
i wont even want to get up
i want to continue going down and down
till i find you
and like what i've said, i will.

2010-02-18T18:45:00.007+08:00

well, managed to change my blog skin
and couldnt really think of nice music to change to..
and well, yup, its BLACK again, dont ask me why
i will only be peaceful and not thinking my blogskin isnt nice when its black in colour
other colours i will keep on doubting my skills in choosing
jiu jiao zhuo 'yan guang bu hao' ba, nicer word to explain it :)
well, actually the colour im most comfortable with and most liked will be black ba
so what about pink??
well, pink i would call it my naughty colour :)
normal pink i like, but what i love most is REAL HOT PINK!!! :)
its kinda nice colour isnt it?
and well, i dont think there is anything wrong like what little kids use to say that pink is a girly colour and guys having pink is gay
well, you could say that i have more female hormones in me than average guy, that i may agree with it
but im still a guy; a straight guy :DD
i think pink is a nice and cool colour!
dont you guys think so??

hmm, ok, so lets talk about something else, i actually thought of what my topic for my post today is
but i forgot it now..
HAA!! yea! pet society!
well, i dunno why im obsess with this game, but this game is truly cute and fun to play leh :)
every week got lots of cute and nice thing coming up
oh, and i love my pink cat and my orange cat!!
its so so so so nice!! :D

ahh well, tml is my biostats paper, i every had a flash thought over my head just now
that i dont go for the paper tml
but i thought that was a very wrong thought
at least if i go take the paper, i tried
like what people said, its always good to try and fail then to never try
oh, and it reminds me of my previous post.. to love and lost then never love
so, i think its the same
to try and fail than to never try!! :D
and maybe behind the sentence can write my n ame on it!!

better to try and fail than to never try at all - Qiping

HAHAHA!! cool right?? :DDD
omg, ok, dont sue me for any copyright or anything huh, its just for the fun of it

i realise my internet connection sucks to the core la
everytime give me loading page error
i think after my exams im gonna come out with a mini research on how to quicken my internet connection
at least get the most out of the kuku vodafone that im using
well,, dont laugh, but the max downloading speed that i got from my connection was 250kbps ONLY!!
that that was after using this download accelerator call flashget
normal download would be like 50plus kbps, if the thing happy then got 100pluskbps la
and torrent is another stupid thing la!
the torrent wont even start downloading
its like serious problem la
maybe if im able to chiong work for this holiday i can get a router??
well, and saying until work, im pretty determine to save money now
because i have a aim in mind on why i need to save money
school fees is only one of it :)

well, i shall post till here, till next time!! :)

i am determine to cut down on the number of unnecessary vibrations my phone makes when the holiday starts till that day :)

2010-02-17T21:30:00.006+08:00

imagine this insect crawling on your legs...

well, what to say.. another day passed..
i realise that i have a higher level of tolerance for cold showers now
previously i need 5 mins to adapt to the water, slowly wet myself with the coldness of the water from toe to head
now, i can simply increase my speed
and well, i would say, it keeps me from wasting water
and just now when i bathe, i suddenly saw one millipede crawling on the floor, luckily i saw and spray it to the drain, if not next time i would never dare to shit in my house toilet again
i remembered there was once i saw a flying cockroach in the toilet
and the next day when i shit, i never shit in peace..
im like constantly imagining the cockroach suddenly flying out from the toilet bowl (the area where the water flushes out, cos its like hidden from view) after waking up from the smell of my shit.
ok, thats too imaginative
ok, well, say until insects, when someone asked me about what insects i scared of.. i never knew how to reply in short sentence
well, actually, im generally ok with insects who cant fly and is quite a safe distance form me
as for insects who can fly, i would pray it dont fly towards my direction
but generally, when insects get near me, im scared of everyone of them
somehow, the thought of that kind of feeling when somethings is crawling on your body isnt really that normal huh
(and well, my insects generally refers to those visible to the eyes and about minimum 5cm long de, definitely not insects like ants =.=)
the worst scenario i had ever imagine was the big big hairy hairy (and maybe with stripes) spider
OMG! imagine the mao touching you and as the spider crawls on your legs, the mao itches you and the legs pokes you on the skin slightly.. EEEWWWWWWW!!!
omg.. ok, dont think about this already
lets talk about something else

well, recently.. ok, not recently, its only yesterday
yup, ytd i joined an interesting facebook fan page
its called The spaces between my fingers were created so that yours could fill them in
well, i sorta like this :D
it seems unique, special and in a sense, different from other facebook fan page
dont you think its cool??
hey, ok, i think today my post damn random la..
before i sign off, i shall present a quote to u guys

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." -St. Augustine

well, i dont know how other people think
but to me, i seriously want to learn from this quote..
when you never express your love, it becomes a burden in yourself
it weighs down your heart
you think of the same person everyday over and over again
you become a man with no balls
because you dont dare to tell the person 'I Love You' this 3 words
for the reason that you know this person is important to your life and you cant afford to lose her
you think of the worst scenario
that if the person rejects you, there would be silence between the both parties
and you know you dont want that to happen
because she meant much to you
too much to lose
not for the fact that you cant live without her, but for the fact that you feel incomplete without how she used to look at you, treat you and smile at you before you said 'I Love You' this 3 words to her
smiles would be gone
subsequent eye contacts would make the whole situation awkward
and people would be behind your backs talking about you and smiling in front of you
somehow, there is a segregation between both..

ok, still typed another chunk when i say im ending this post 5mins ago
well, end here! :)

you remembered how we used to be before? in the beginning? how we communicate, how close we become?
i dont think so..

2010-02-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

well, this is actually one of the albums that i downloaded today
and i suddenly thought panpipes is nice :)
dunno why, just suddenly feel like listening to panpipes
and i remembered my mum has the album, i used to listen when i was young when my mum played it on the player
and i loved it very much..

and well i didnt really study much today
i know, i've failed..
and i dont know if i had promise anyone that i would study hard, but looks like im never gonna make it
i am sorry..
and i knw its no use saying sorry
im not giving up now, but im just facing the reality
its a cruel fact, but im seriously sure that i couldnt make it for this particular module and need to retain for that module
i choose to stop bluffing myself, saying that im gonna make it and i will
im no longer the hardworking and smart qiping
im lazy qiping now
the lazy bum bum who always sleep during lectures and not doing tutorials
until now, i haven even start on the important chapters
and when i say i haven start and haven study, i meant it
the reason why i could score well in my secondary school days is because teachers nagggg the same concept over and over again
its hard to even push those things out of my head
and now in poly, i'll have to be the one nagging at myself, which i never done so

before i came to poly, i aimed to get a good gpa for university, in particular NUS
i accepted the challenge to get into NUS medic
and when my first sem was over, i told myself, forget it
im never gonna make it
then i told myself, if i work hard, maybe can get into NTU, better than nothing
now the second sem pass, and im gonna tell myself this:
go on go on, go on daydream, and dream on..

actually i thought of this: why should there be higher education after secondary school?
why cant we straight away go find work and start learning from our work place?
well, not a bad idea huh, another dream..
DREAM ON BOY!!

2010-02-16T12:59:00.015+08:00

vs

well, this is the image that was in my mind at 8 0'clock this morning
cos ytd i told myself i'll sleep at 11pm, and wake up at 8am, just nice a 9 hours sleep
so, i went to bed at 10.20pm, giving myself 40mins to daydream before i sleep
and somehow i slept before 11, and i wake up damn early, which i dunno what time too
and then i was flipping on the bed, waiting for the alarm to ring
and when the alarm finally rang at 8, i pressed it and then thinking whether i wna wake up so early

one side of my mind was like 'HEY! WAKE UP!! U HAVEN FINISH YOUR BIOSTATS REVISION AND U LEFT 3 DAYS TO STUDY FOR SO MANY CHAPTERS! AND ITS STUDYING FROM SCRATCH LIKE A DUMMY U KNOW!!'

and the other side of my mind was like 'aiiyaa, let me sleep a while la, a while only. must have enough sleep then can concentrate in my studies ma. if not later i study halfway then feel like sleeping how?'

ya, so, its obvious which side of my mind i followed..
and i wake up at 1115, went to brush teeth and on my com until now
and im like a bit lost on how to start on my stupid biostats
i wish there was an underground tunnel that i can go into to lock myself from everything and concentrate my mind on biostats and biostats only
i realise that from young, i have a habit of daydreaming when im studying..
study until halfway and all sorts of things and events will come and disrupt my studying mindset
then i'll be like smiling to myself and my mum will be like 'eh, thinking of girl huh'
tsk!
ok la, say about ytd, ytd went to my ah ma house, then went downstairs where there is this lady who know how to read cards to see about your life
i was told she was related to guan inn
so, my parents had their readings read, and me and my sis thought we would join in the fun
well, i would say, people who knew me long knew my family background
and most (or maybe all) never knew how i thought towards it
sometimes you choose not to believe, but sometimes you just cant
sometimes you chose to be revolutionary, but sometimes you just have to kneel yourself in front of the 'unchanged fact that you want to change'
when she read my cards, she immediately says this 'your results this year is damn bad'
then my sis was like 'hoho, your exams coming'
and she was like 'your exams haven come, but im telling you now, go do something about it'
and she told me some other bunch of things too
well, before she read about my cards i already knew most likely im gonna be retaking at least one module, so that info coming out from her mouth dosent really impressed or shocked or hurts me
i think it will be more like telling my mum i advance for me ba

well, shall end my post here! :)

will giving a promise be better??

2010-02-15T14:25:00.003+08:00

hmm, i think i'll be updating my blog as often as i can ba :)

ok, what comes to my mind everyday now is my studies
i think im gonna retake at least one module, and thats biostats
cos the overall 60% CA marks i got an F grade, which is fail
means i can anywhere from 0-30%
and it also means i'll need to score very very well for my end of year to at least get a D grade, and i guess, i have no confident
so, maybe i'll have to save up the money that i will earn during march holidays,
then tell my mummy that i will pay for that extra sem de money, so maybe she would nagggggg less
well, cell bio maybe i'll pass with a D+ or so ba
and my organic should be able to pass too
the other i was worrying about is retaking my IS module, cos i did have that 80% attendance

well, putting aside everything, im looking forward to the holidays
no matter what, i think i'll be throwing my worries one side and enjoy my holidays ba
maybe going to a few chalets (and my daddy says he wna plan one for his birthday =.=)
first will be with the ritz ppl on 27 and 28, then will be with my dearest 4E2rians at janet's hse on 6 march
if my daddy's chalet is confirm (which i dont hope so), then i'll be folling 7march and 8 march..
that would be enough to drain all my energy out
and well, that reminds me that i have to do the proposal out for the whole financial year before the next band meeting..
if not we cant even discuss how many practices we can or must cancel during the march holidays
and if practices is cancel, i think most likely i'll spend time working as much as i can to build up my money bank
and i think i will want to create a OCBC acct to put all my savings inside
tthe reason why its OCBC is that i already havee POSB, and i definitely like variety, in any case i cant find POSB atm i still can find OCBC :)
and i can put one acct as solely for savings and no withdrawal and another acct solely for withdrawal for my packet money, and i think i will have to standardize it to like maybe 300 per month or less, so that i can save more
well, and not to forget my 2 friends, i still remember what i owe you, dont worry :)

wow, didnt know i was so ambitious in planning my holidays so fast huh!
well, i think now i should come back to worrying about my exams le ba......

thats all, post next time!! :)

2010-02-13T22:47:00.002+08:00

some interesting things i found while i was on facebook :D

well, i wouldnt say everything inside is really correct to an extent, but its just for the fun and enjoyment of it :D
enjoy! :)

35 Things A Girl Probably Doesn't Know

1. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Guys are very open about themselves.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much some guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25.When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

33. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

34. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

35. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

credits goes to this facebook group :)

2010-02-13T14:44:00.003+08:00

i had a wonderful dream last night and the night before! the most wonderful dream this year! :DD
i guess its really nice, to have 2 continuous different dreams on one single thing :)
for the moment when im sleeping, i really thought its happening for real
and it definitely felt real..
until i woke up..
but its still a nice dream, at least now i feel, and felt :)

OK! tomorrow's valentine's day!! :)
i know i'll be single tomorrow, but somehow i am not really sad
and somehow now, i haven had the urge to rush things
now, i just wanted things to go on as smoothly as possible
slow and steady is the best.
cos as you drive, you get to know your car better, forging a bond between..
a bond thats deep, tight and not easily destroyable
i look forward to the wish i made during 1111(and i only made a wish once at that time)
and the last wish i wrote before folding and putting it into the bottle and throwing it to the sea on new year day :)

i will persevere through those months..
i will prove it.. :)

2010-02-12T20:02:00.004+08:00

tell me, tell me that i am a paranoid child
tell me its because i am being paranoid
tell be its not because its true
tell me.. tell me..

i never got a word of trust, never received it..
words like 'trust me', in that kind of tone, that made me trust without question, i dont think i heard that before..
right now, i feel myself lost in the path of darkness, i could never find my way through
the only light that shines, is the entrance which i came from..
and i dont want to go back, i want to move forward, to make it through the darkness..
into a place that i know i would be more happy in..
and now, i am lost, without any guide or anything; nothing..
without the sense of security..
not even a sense of touch that generate heat, essential for me to feel the presence and secured..
sometimes when i walk halfway, i'll hear seem to hear a voice that guides me..
but it only guides me half the way..
sometimes there isnt even any..
sometimes it seems to guides me the other way instead..
i dont know which path will guide me to the light, to you..
sometimes you guided me this way, sometimes you pushed me to another path..
its made me feel confused and lost..
but no matter what, i will persevere, i wont let go..
i will cling on..
i will make my way through and make sure i find an opening with a ray of light shining..
the different ray from where i first came in from..
i will roam inside until i find it, i wont stop..
unless you personally take my hand and grab me, and reject me..
pushing me out to where i came from..
telling me to give up..
if not, i will continue..
believe me, i will..

please, guide me in the right path
i dont expect you to guide me all the way, i just wanted you to guide me and tell me which path is the right way..
dont push, and then pull me..
dont guide me to east, then suddenly turn around 180 degrees to west..
do me a favour, lead me..
to the path that will lead to you..
to your heart..
please..

i want to make you happy..

2010-01-12T00:14:00.001+08:00

suddenly feel so weird and wrong..
i guess, thats part of life that i must try to understand and accept even though i could never..
best wishes and cheers! :)

2009-11-29T02:15:00.003+08:00

years pass,
but its never forgotten.
Tiny bits of evidence lay lying here and there,
inside and outside
beneath and underneath
perhaps, thats what's called unselfishness

which means, i understooded what true LOVE and what a love (without the true word in front) is.

2009-11-22T23:35:00.002+08:00

HEY PPL!!!
thanks for the celebration ytd!!! :)
i enjoyed it!! :)
a little confession.. that was the first time i eer played with cream and kena cream la.
ad it was the first time i ever tried to ton in this kind of situation until so early in the morning :D
thanks for the bbirthday cake, not bad, quite nice
and also wish that u enjoyed the steamboat! :)

THANKS!!! :)

i dont wish to post it here, i dont want u have the wrong idea, but let me tell u this: STOP CONTRADICTING YOURSELF! i dare to say i know what you are thinking. every single thing!

2009-11-07T03:45:00.002+08:00

theres nothing i wna say, just a few words: give it up
mark everything i say, when i say it, i mean it.
no matter how hard u try, its never gonna work
the more u want it, the more i will resist
dont make me stop messaging you,
dont make me reject your calls,
dont make me ignore you,
dont make me act like i never see you when i did,
dont make erase you from my friends list
and..
dont make me cut off all forms communications from you
i mean it and i will do it
and im definitely serious
dont push it
as long as the topic dont appear anywhere in my 5 senses, its fine

2009-10-25T14:46:00.002+08:00

well well, its been a while since i posted anything on the blog
been slacking and working this whole week
well, come to think of all the things thats been through this week
i'll classify all in 3 sub category

my timetable
well, seen my timetable and it sucks to the core
mon, tues, wed and thurs, all 4 days starts at 9AM in the morning
WHICH MEANS TO WAKE UP AT 0630 IN THE MORNING!!!!
sucks man!
and when i left home at 00730, i cant even take bus 5 to tpy cos TOO MANY PPL ON BOARD AND BOARDING!!!!
and im not those like those auntie who uses their body to push all the way to the front!
irritating!
and then after that wna change bus also difficult!
151 too full, 154 also too full!!
in the end bo bian, take 985 to shell station and walk there (u cant even alight opposite bukit timah plaza cos its all packed with humans!!!!)
ok, never mind, now talk bout dismissal time.
mon and wed dismissed at 6 IN THE AFTERNOON!! and tues and thurs 3
like so damn kuku la!
then friday have to come to school see just ONE teacher for the whole entire 4 hours
but luckily our teacher is some joker,so still can tarhan

my subjects
i took biostats (chan sii pan yann), cell bio (mathew mak and cate), organic chem (eddie) and infotech (i think is call wai tuck if i dont remember wrongly)
yaya! still got this comt2 something by some ang mor teacher
for biostats, the first week only i got some stupid project due next friday!
organic chem, ok la, i think i can excel in it. THINK only la, still haven really touch the m ain dish yet, only smell the appetizer only
cell bio, iu must say, i CMI!!
for the whole week, nothing goes in during the lecture
info tech, ok la
comt2 kit thing, definitely cant pass with flying colours!

CCA
hmm, well, quite happy that i've been active again in band :)

Work
ha, not bad.
earn lots of money
well, friday i work at 1730 and then work ot until 0400
stayed in house with somtip cos he also working next morning
he work 9am, i work 10
but i work up st 0815 like that to bathe and change and eat breakfast at canteen cos the canteen only had breakfast until like 9am and then close for preparation for lunch le
so, went to slack and shit for 1/2 an hr
then work lo
then something weird happen, i was carring the table extension and dunno why it fell to my feet
damn pain, then grace saw i holding my feet and insist me to go see doc
but then nothing la, the x-ray say no fracture or what so ever
then i went back and continue working until 12 :)
( i think i dont want to post my friday night event work on the blog, too racist la)
then took same van with siying and went home lo
ya, must thank michelle ytd for helping me a lot, if not i'll be dead meat liao
she quite good la, help me with portioning and settled the beverage so fast lo
thanks huh :)
i'll do better la :)

2009-10-12T23:54:00.001+08:00

yeah!! :D
my laptop's going to come back to me on wednesday! :D
Finally! :)
Ok, and, im working like tml, until friday, then sunday.
And its like damn damn early for all 5 days. :(
Gonna sleep now.
Blog next time with my laptop! :)

2009-09-17T16:56:00.002+08:00

i became officially laptop-less.
Cos my laptop screen blinked at me for like 2 weeks or so liao, so sent for repair just now.
Apparently, there's like not a need for the receipt lo, but then i thought need, and i went back home after travelling 1/3 my journey just to take the receipt and in the end become wasted trip and time.
Anyway, they said they will change the whole LCD screen for me, and it would take 3 to 4 working days, which means i am like laptop-less from today to like next tues or wed.
And they say there's a probability of the screen out of stock. :(
Which means i may sacrifice those days laptop-less for nothing. :(

2009-09-13T01:13:00.002+08:00

ok, too long never blog liao, i think i'll write a preview on the movie i just watch :D

i watched the movie 9 today
so, now i write preview

the movie actually only ok only la
the ending not very good, which makes the movie not that good. and the movie too short, one hr plus only, so also become so so.
ya, just a short movie review only :)

2009-09-04T23:21:00.002+08:00

ok, time to blog!
went out with jiani today to celebrate her late birthday that i was suppose to celebrate last week on the 25 aug :)
we walk to cathay to watch the proposal
funny show la, then went to orchard to take bus to east coast
had mac there, so, ordered my usual mc spicy upsizeddd
and then throughout the day i was telliung some damn damn cold jokes to her that dosent make her laugh
like saying mc spicy burger upsizeddd instead of double mc spicy burger,
and the zhen(1) dan = zhen(1) the egg, chao(3) dan = chao(3) the egg , and zha(4) dan is zha(4) the egg
ok, its damn cold i know, dont freeze while reading
then went to beach to talk, then give her the birthday gift! the necklace. and then played the.. that one call what ah.. eh, forgot call what la
the one she likes to play, YA!! sparkers :)
then both of us went home with the sand
and i forgot i no direct bus at that bus stop and i slimply say goodbye to her with she board the bus instead of going up with her and drop at still road there to change bus
i keep on thinking that it was the other kuku bus stop which has 55 the go to my hse straight
bo bian lo, need to wait for another 13
reached home and bathed :)
hmm, let me see, tml free!!
sunday need to cut hair, which i still dunno wher i should cut and then gorun the 5km F1 race
and monday band
and tues will be jiani come my hse
wed night go watch 9,
thurs band,
friday go back MJR band for the exchange programme
and then sat is cheng fu's concert :)

2009-08-20T19:06:00.000+08:00

MICHELLE!! i can upload images :)
try again :)

2009-08-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

ever wondered why?
i dont think i am the qiping i use to know 4 years ago
everybody went from worst to better, better to good, good to even better, even better to best
but me, i think it went backwards

i know my thinking is wrong, i dont wish to think it this way
i seriously think i have the wrong thinking in this
i really wish to go back to 3 years ago, to those thinking
the way i think of things..

2009-08-18T22:57:00.003+08:00

its my fault, what i did, i deserve this
that is why i dont want help, i am the one at fault, i should be the be the clearing up this mess
i dont want to bother anyone, i dont want people to help me clear up my mess

i just feel.. so lost.. so lost so lost!!!

2009-08-18T18:30:00.003+08:00

ok, i just went through the whole list of modules that im going to take in 3 years in NP with yuli just now
and i seriously think i made the wrong decision in my choice of course a year ago
im thinking whether i should change course next sem
cos i think i'll fail at least one module
and the problem with me is that i gave up studying bio 3 years ago, and now, everything came back to haunt
i didnt know why i chose this course in the first place
maybe i think too much about the outcome instead of the process
i want to advance in the field of forensics, thats why i chose this course
and i think i myself think too much about that that i forgot everything i study for 3 years will be like 80 - 90% bio stuff
seriously lost

sometimes, the beat thing to do is still to keep quiet and say nothing. keep everything inside to your own.
the more u try to say out, the worst the situation will get.

2009-08-17T12:22:00.004+08:00

that one song..
the song that explains everything, that proves everything, that makes everything, that preserves everything
to the string attaching: never forgotten and always remembered..

2009-08-16T14:39:00.002+08:00

its 16 august, and im still in dreamland

2009-08-16T14:36:00.001+08:00

plain and simple life VS a beauitful, colourful but complex life

choose between one

2009-08-15T23:45:00.005+08:00

ok, shall blog
well, life's fair, i gain something, you lost something
if i had the money, i would rather lost that thing and start everything anew
seriously, things are like breeze; come, and go
nothing stays
thats why everybody like secondary school days, secondary school life, secondary school friends
thats why this particular thing in my life i call it my life, cos i dont want to look back
i only want to look forward
thats why it became my life, a life of hope and real happiness and the smiles, the hardwork, the improvement, the commitment, the enjoyment, the bright red heart beating, the bonds, the future
thats life
or at least, what i called MY LIFE
or my life for now
suddenly having the wish not to grow up, to remain in the way i am now
but well, life needs to go on
something needs to come eventually, and something needs to go eventually
get the most out of life, and live it
enjoy life to the fullest when you can. you dont know whats coming next

ok, so much craps.

2009-08-15T00:26:00.002+08:00

ok la, post la post la, since i cannot sleep
what thing to post neh
oh, just now lo, cos mummy say outside our corridor got cat, but dubb wher, then after that i heard the cat meow meow de
and my family hate cats, so it becomes my duty to bring the cat down from the 12 floor to the first lo
but the cat not bad la, still like my fangers a lot, wna chase after ti, so i just just my fingers to make it walk until the lift
but then the cat keeep on want to rub against the wall
then the lift come and open the cat scared and dont want to go in, i carrry it then put it in then come out it also dont want, rush out of the lift like the lift got dog like that
and its like more than 3 tries la, even my earpiece also become my equipment to make the cat go in la
then bo bian, walk the stairs down lo
then the cat keep on rub against the wall, keep on buah buah buah dont want stop
from 12 floor go until 7 floor then the cat dont want go down le, keep on buah buah buah against the wall
then i manage to make it go down one storey by sayang it lo, then it come down, then dont want come down anymore, stuck at lvl 6
kuku de, then in the end bo bian, press the lift, then when the lift coming i carry the cat
then go in with it and put it down and pin him to the ground by pressing the body
when i carry it go into lift the cat like damn afraid like that la
used its paws to try to struggle free from my hand
then went down that time the door open and i just let my hand free then it like run until damn fast la, i inside really got dog wna chase it like that la
waa, i second time carry a cat la, luckily i manage to grab it la
then come home wash hand, sit down in front of com jiu sweating le, hias, dont need sleep le lo!

2009-08-09T21:21:00.002+08:00

ok, lets post about this 2 days
i found myself self declaring my sickness completely cured
cos ytd i ate LJS, still remember, golden deal 2
and complaining on their knife not good enough, making me no mood to eat
but still eat finish anyway la :)
hmm, should say a happy birthday to gary although haven come la :D
err, so, ytd went out with fellow band mates to PS
played in the douby ghaut arcade first, then went to LJS to eat and play with gary's chicken :D
then went watch UP.
err, ok la, the movie not bad la, quite nice la :)
wasnt so boring la :)
i think that movie was the latest i've ever catch la, cos come out the escalator of PS not working anymore, all resting le
and then went to istana park to slack
hmm, think not bad la, then cab home cos need to help mummy with things
today morning wasnt much la, just open laptop and slack there lo
ya, and happy birthday singapore
NDP like more and more boring leh, but i heard night on the bare mountain :)
then still got what ah, nothing much la, just some interesting err... fireworks lo :)
and, nothing much, signing off here :)

2009-08-07T20:33:00.002+08:00

ytd night i was so so so so happy that i shitted
the reason is that i haven been shitting for like very long
like a week like that
then ytd is one shot everything shit out, waa, feel damn great man! :D
should be ok by now le la, only my sound haven recover only and cough only
like that lo :)

2009-08-05T20:23:00.003+08:00

ok, let me vent my anger
FUCK THE FEVER!!!
it went and come and went and come
WTF U WANT FROM ME!!
JUST GET OUT!!!!! N-O-W!!!

2009-08-02T13:11:00.002+08:00

ok, it sucks like hell.
ytd night was a burning of 39.7
went to sponge myself with cold water
mummy helped me too
and then went to sleep at my study room, since bedroom damn damn cold
6 something wake up again, this time something not right
sat at the kitchen
feel like vomiting and shitting
so went to the toilet
shitted but never vomit, nothing to vomit
and sweated a lot
can say its like worst than running those kind of sweating
damn damn wet la, whole body some more
but sweating good la
bthen went to sleep again and woke up at 10 something to see doc
and the doc gave me antibiotics and some other medicine
lots man, and it cost like 51.30 when normally i only see for max 30 bucks
only had 50 bucks in my pocket, so went home and take the extra money to pay lo.
and then dont feel like eating
but still ate a small bowl of porridge and then my medicine
well, when i get well, the first thing i wna eat is.. ICE CREAM!!
cos got temptation for it now :(

2009-08-01T20:45:00.002+08:00

ok now! i declare the whole Ngee Ann kena plague.
everybody seems to be having fever, and for me, its much much worst
serious sore throat, and guess what?
morning my right shoulder pain, then i went to sleep at 3 something and wake up at 6.
this time the pain spread down to my chest
breath in also pain, cough also pain :(
and i realise i haven been sick for quite long, and now this stupid thing come, worst daysssss of my life :(
and my stupid fever came back
the whole stupid sickness just makes me unable to go for my 4E2 class gathering cum entertaining apichaya in singapore.
saddededed

2009-07-31T20:08:00.001+08:00

SORE THROAT!!! AAHHHH!!! :'(
i wna cry already, now cough also came along, and makes my sore throat like shit like that
now even went i wna drink soup also cannot!! PAIN!!! :(((((((

2009-07-31T16:09:00.001+08:00

seriously, im speechless, you win.

2009-07-30T18:42:00.001+08:00

yeah! my fever subside!! :D
temperature check at 1843: 36.8!!
WOO HOO!!
spend like the whole day doing my cats project :)
gonna do reflection after that :)

2009-07-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

hi
thanks everyone for their concern, im ok! :)
i'll not be going school tml though :)
and, i want to sleep and rest now..
nose, pleaase stop running..
temp at 2244: 38.6
feeling hot in the eyes :(

2009-07-28T14:09:00.000+08:00

feeling damn damn hot!
im burning from inside to outside.. :(

2009-07-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

shall blog bout this few days
sat went for band and then went out with my band mates to PS
had fun there, at first dunno what to eat, then we decided to each buy their own, then meet outside PS to eat
then gary came and went with them to play arcade
well, was a fun day la, cos i watch azri and gary play finish house of the dead 4 and fighting each other over those bonus secret points :)
then went to mrt there de so call 'night arcade' to watch them play jubeat, quite a cool game :)
and azri got addicted on that game too :D
then went home on mrt
sun spend the whole day in library
for the first time i ate proper lunch and dinner when i go library
cos i want muscles :)
and sorry to si hui and mich for the spamming ah, if u all wna spam back go to my link and press on the name call catherine, its a dead blog though, just spam for all u like :)
ok, mon, which is today :)
no mood for everything, everything is music in my head
on how i gain and loss things
and so on and so forth
and after that was apprecaiation dinner in the alumni clubhse 'ballroom' :)
had loads of fun there
then was home :)
till now :)
I WANNA BUY ARBAN!! :)

feel myself being so optimistic, or maybe too optimistic
bout a month ago or less a started bleeding in the throat, and then it stopped after a week or 2 when i ate fisherman
and last sat, i bleeded in the nose, dunno for what reason, early in the morning
this time is real bleeding, blood just flow out of the nose by itself, not by sneezing
and it went ok before coming back again 15 mins later, reason being that i rubbed my nose too hard
then everything went fine, just a little uneasy and got the harden feeling
then today morning it went bleeding again, cos i rubbed it too hard when i was bathing
and i wonder when will all this stop
maybe it'll stay with me fro life and maybe it'll stop the next instant
well, anyway, life still goes on no matter what, enjoy life while you can, so you wont regret at the very last moment

music is starting to create my life and my world..

2009-07-24T23:50:00.002+08:00

well, just wna post my day today :)
today fun fun, but legs a little poor thing
cos morning raining (the day or 2 before i was wishing it to rain)
and no basketball, cannot go court, so in the end we did some exercise
apparently our trainer went to see kobe bryant, making him remember things to do to us
and he ask us to like sit on the air, like sitting position like that, but without the chair
then he ask us tip toe, the the third one is to stomp our foot tip toeing
all, we did one set, 30 second, but he cheater, 30 second become like 1 minute like that :(
and then still jump from leg to leg, then ask us to lie down and lift our legs up
waa, torture man
then i was thinking whether i can continue with my relay later or not
then no cats, but we have to rush out everything and hand up to her
then met jiani and janet and after that kim, to eat lunch
and we went to our space to sit there and slack
me and siying then send them back to the bus stop for their korean lesson
and siying accompany me to the grand stand
then met band members there, did stretching and exercise, then was the relay run
well, although we did not win (cos too many sports group le la, and 3 dragonboat team some more!)
but at least we tried our best la, and its the process that matters :)
adn well, good good, i find it very fun!! :D
haha, and well, i think i wna post about this person who came to disrupt my life today
this vege huh, morning before my appearance i spill a bit of my milo
then she came while i was knocking my first egg, and she went to poke my half boiled egg!! :(
and the whole egg yoke just leak off. :(
and then the second one, then whole egg yoke again crack by itself, make me cannot suck the whole egg yoke :(
thanks ah! and she appear in front of me like lots of time today
even in the night at like 10 when i was going to bus stop after eating and slacking at ameen
THANKS AH, VEGE JIAHUI!!

2009-07-21T19:29:00.002+08:00

i think i should blog, but dunno what to blog.
well, can only think of one thing to blog.
ADER, I'LL MAKE SURE U SEE THIS!!
HE WAS STANDING THERE WITH THE OVER DECOLOURISED MICROSCOPE SLIDE DURING GRAM STAIN SAYING THIS WORD:
SHIT!!
ok, so, i did make sure i post this on my blog. still got what
ya, friday will be my relay run. and this few days been very sport-y
going runnings and gyms lots of time
today went with my class de guys (and that jolene, who came only when we were about to leave)
then went back home to email joseph my cats project
wellwell, seems like lots of project to chiong :(
so, think i gonna chiong now :)
tata~

2009-07-13T21:25:00.002+08:00

ok, shall post before i continue with my microbio project, cos i dont want my blog to be dead
ok, this week got damn loads of project going on, like 3 ba
having microbio presentation this wed, and then maths also this week
and for IPC is lke next week practical time, and CATS this week :(
sad, living my life around those things
and i shall not play too much already
loads of thing happen this week
been a great spammer this week
and my stupid throat been bleeding for like 6 days!!
until today then go see doc and the doc just gave me some medicine
well well, shall post till here, next time then!
tata~

2009-07-09T21:19:00.001+08:00

Disconnecting from earth..

2009-07-07T22:36:00.007+08:00

Under those dust, those lizard droppings, those lines..
Inside the square, the cube, the cover..
There it lies..
The plastic, the glass, the ceramic..
The metal, the cotton, the rubber..
The paper..
The unfolding process, the folding process, the reading process..
The smile, the frown, the tears..
The angry face, the happy face, the disappointed face..
The quarrels, the vulgarities, the frustration..
The misunderstanding, the communication breakdown, the worst situations
The texts, the messages, the talkings..
The happy times..
The sad times..
The together times..
deep inside those lies my heart..
self destructed but functioning as normal as any..
deep inside it... ...
I remembered..

2009-07-05T12:56:00.002+08:00

morning woke up at 0750 and as usual, the room was cold, but luckily i took 2 blankets with me
then stone stone there for a while before gong to 7th floor to take a good hot bathe
then went back to pack my things
azri went to check rooms while i went to take care of his belongings
then they ask me go jurong point, but i never la
cos boon lay mrt station and eunos very far leh! and i no mrt concession, only got bus
and i cant be like sitting on 154 from boon lay to eunos ba
i think i will feel damn bad
cos my neck is aching
which means i cant last any longer in bus
so, went home with xin yi since she also stay bedok
then we talk a lot bout band and our course de stuff
then reach home and ate
think thats all ba
tata~

wasted money..

2009-07-05T01:29:00.002+08:00

ok, now lets recap the day of ripieno concert
morning wake up at 0723, the whole night was like damn freaking cold!!
woke up a few times cause too cold!!
abd the blanket was like so damn freaking small la!!
so, woke up and well, stone for a while as usual then went to bathe, but dunno wht the water heater like not working like that
so went to the next unit to bathe :)
then change into my black concert pants and ripieno shirt.
then went down to 7th floor yuli de unit to iron clothes
then pack up everything and went VCH
loong long process and then was the actual concert
ok, my friends all did come, and well, got mistakes in pieces :(
lots and lots of mispitch
my first performance with so many mispitch and (one good thing) ticket sales is full house :)
well, at least the concert end smoothly, and my friends all very good, only see me perform(first half) then went off le.
so, very sleepy and tired, so, i went to loft and then here i am lo
thinking of what to next..

2009-07-03T22:40:00.002+08:00

hmm, had a day today
morning took a lot of things woth me along
even my dear pillow also bring ;)
and then wna take bus 5, but the bus too many ppl, so in the end take cab there
and i use nets to pay
and went for basketball tml
then, well, had basketball, followed by cats :)
then meet jiahui to pass him tickets
and then meet azri and go loft with him, had some admistration stuff and then unpack my things at the nicest view of the 4 units :)
we chose lvl 8
lvl 7 for girls and 9 for strings
then slept at loft for like one hr plus, then ppl came
and then slack and then went for lunch at mac
then when i want to withdraw money de moment i notice something like fuck
im broke... :(
no money!
:(
ok, then went to band room to polish and then back at loft again :)
ya, and today i poo poo twice :(
once in the morning the other in the night,, :(
ok, think thats all
20 HOURS TO RIPIENO CONCERT!!!!
JIAYOU!! :D

2009-06-30T21:27:00.002+08:00

HEY! im back
so, today was a long day
ok, shall not say the details
lets say the outcome
bought a shirt and pants from G2000 for 95.50
and belt from goldlion for 47
and went shop shop a while with jiani and tampines 1
went home and reached at like 8.40 and ate KFC that mummy bought for me
and before mummy cam eto look at my clothes, i quickly take out the price tag and the receipts away before mummy cam ein
but then she came in quite fast, and i forgot to take out the nets receipt and she saw my belt's value
and started ... ... ... ... ... ... like what usual mummy would do
luckily she never see everything
if not i tell u i'll be dead meat
ok, trying to upload photos now
got 2 album need to upload
the spores and the birthday celebration
and well, think thats for all for today ba
tata~

2009-06-29T23:20:00.002+08:00

well, think i should post tonight
first day of school, nothing much
just feel a little wrong and wants to stay by myself alone for the day
didnt really talk to my classmates much for today
not because of my results that made me seems so emo, but because i just feel like i want to be alone
dunno why
anyway, got back 2 papers today
got 33% for microbio and 93% for maths
60% differences between the 2 modules CT paper
ok, nothing much today
and i officially sold 2 RIPIENO tickets
left 2 for derrick
and janet says she maybe will buy one for me
well, i dont think there are anymore people to sell
see first, maybe will have
i decided to go G2000 factory outlet to buy my clothes for concert since the place is on my way home
and well, jiani agrees to follow me to there tgt
and well well well well, dont think there is anymore thing i wna say
hope everything will be fine when i wake up tml
think thats all for today

from what i see, i think im suppose to be the idiot, and i think i should act like one, to blend into everything

2009-06-29T12:19:00.001+08:00

i'll be real dead if i declare myself dead and the end of the world..

2009-06-28T13:01:00.002+08:00

ok, im back to posting my third day of camp
it was damn fun!! :D
well, morning bout 0730 wake up, went to sleep until 8, then brush teeth and went down to eat breakfast
bread with kaya and milo :)
then went for band practice,and luckily azri remind me to bring poker cards, if not will be damn bored
so, went in for band
first was orchestra, so we non orcheatra members have nothing to do, so our section went up to third floor for some games
played poker, then went down for the band part
after that was the strings part, so we band members were free
gary said he was damn hungry so we went to makan place
and everybody ate except me, cos i dont feel like eating
so, after that a while gary and azri went up for the second orchestra part while i pei the others continue sitting there
then was called to help out in the orcheatra part since one not here and gary going off at one
so, well, sat there and played
lots of wrong notes came out la (hehe) cos my sight reading sucks like hell
(ya, bentoh after that said that trumpet out of tune, oops)
ok, but the proces was fun la :)
so, after that camp break lo!!
but then i feel like eating, so i msg azri whether they wna go to mac
so, waited for him
he went club house later and apparently, serious matters happening in clubhouse and michelle was taking care of the bag alone and she also going with us
so, me azri and kangrong sat down with her to play poker :)
so, stayed there until like 6 something or 7
and went to bukit timah plaza to eat KFC
we ordered 2 bargain deals and 2 big cokes
full ah
then me and azri went to have a hair cut while the other 10 over ppl all at KFC eating
then after the haircut we went to play pool!!
10 over ppl for like 2hrs, 2 table
well, although didnt win but not bad!
got improvement :)
ok, so, in the end, we only need to pay like 3.90 for the 2 hrs of fun and overall was not bad!
and joshua said just 3 bucks can le
so, after that went home, bathe and talk to parents before sleeping :)

2009-06-27T01:22:00.001+08:00

ok, lets start with morning. Met ppl at 12 for lunch. Had the same thing over and over again. Then went for band practice, then was the full rehearsal without the conductor cos the conductor couldnt make it. Then was dinner and continue with band practice. Not bad, the later part of today was quite slack. And well, learned and got back my sense of enjoyment in music. Actually also nothing much. The only something much is that gary told me here got bar, its called halo bar. So, after 10 went slacking and then bathe and play max. Then went with kang rong to the bar. Dunno what to order so ordered beer. Drank a mug and went back to my dorm. Feeling warm in my cheeks, but they arent really red. Ok, think thats about all, tata. :)

2009-06-26T10:25:00.002+08:00

ok, im using my phone to post online. Think i'll change my format of writing since its easier like this when using phone to type. I shall post about my first day of camp. Morning we were suppose meet at 9. But then drag until like 9.20 or what. Then we were split into groups. My group got quite a no of string players, with like 4 band de. Ok, so, had some ice breaker before heading to blk 18 to put our stuff. At first our room was small, then we changed into a big big room, so, left our things there and went down to play games again. We were told to merge with other groups since our group is small, so, played flour. Well, at first we were told to make the flour into dough then come out with our name using the dough. So, we poured water, but in the end cos the flour was tap-pi-yo-ker (ok sorry, i didnt manage to remember how to spell that) flour, the dough turn out to become semi solid. It feels solid when touch, but then when u put it in your hands, it sorta melted. Ya, wrong flour. In the end we abort the game and helped to clear up the mess we created. So, after that we were told to change into dirty clothes for dirty games, then i was like 'oh shit! I no dirty clothes!' cos we were not told to bring.

Ok, next para, we had lunch, and sectional before playing the dirty games. Sectional was ok la. Then playing dirty games i end up wearing black shirt and white pants! Luckily they put is flour, toothpaste and all those craps. Then played multi-captain's ball, and we end up throwing cabbage, egg(heng i never kena), oranges, banana, and the worst of all was the whole chicken! I think got 2 if im not wrong. I thought the chicken would be ok so i go pick it up, but then the chicken skin feel a bit.. Like.. Eee! Those kind, so i quickly throw to ppl. Luckily no mud no nothing. Then went to wash the chairs before bathing. Had dinner, and slack. Then had a movie session. 2hrs watch a horror movie, and some fun stuff while the movie is bluffing. :D ok, then was nightwalk, that time was like 12 midnight le. Not exactly a nightwalk thing, cos they sacred we sweat or whatever thing. Its more of treasure hunt la. So, went around the school lo. Then the thing finished at 3 something. So, went to eat supper. Kaya bread with hot milo. Then took my phone and wallet from craft (if i never spell wrongly, its suppose to be pronounce as this) then went up with azri. He said he dont wna stay at committee dorm cos too squeezy. So he came with us up. :) then played poker and max. :) max this game not bad, quite nice to play. :) azri thought me how to play. :) so, guai guai slept at 5, when all the lights really off, then cannot see anything.

Ok, my sleeping time, slept a while and wake up to see i too near to kang rong, then move move a little, then wake up see too near to azri, then move move. Then wake up again, too high, so move move, wake up again, too low, dont care la, as long as my head can rest well can le. :D this repeated for lots of time. :D

So, morning wake up at 10 and stone there, cos thought 11 meet, but then its 12, so got time blog, think its all ba, see ya next time! Shall post more! Morning and tata! :D

2009-06-24T12:31:00.002+08:00

ok, now, shall post on today and ytd
jiahui must be very happy to hear this, cos i just ate vegetarian just now
ok ok, start with ytd
ytd was my broke day, with no money in my pocket and bank
so, i went to meeet reggie and joseph at ourspace
and we waited for 45 mins for JB to come but we realise that he just woke up after 45 mins of waiting, so, ya
ok, so discuss until halfway i saw jiahui then was yuli, we all 3 at the same place different seats doing projects with our friends
ok, so after my project i feel very cold, so i went to library to wait for them
and then we meet again and went to bus stop
the rest of the ppl already fetch seartin from the airport le, so, they were at east point the time when we were at school de bus stop
and they dont know where to go
so, they finally decided to go kallang leisure
so, took 154 and changed 985 and walk there
apparently there's not much ppl there, so, we went to arcade to look for them
and then we went to eat the 'upsize satay' if im not wrong
and then went wwalk here walk there and went to eat at the first floor de japanese restaurant
and me, kaitat and kok shared 4 plates of pork and 1 plate of duck
nice nice!!
and they keep talking bout imba imba
imba soup, imba sauce, imba pork
and well, they 2 asked for the saseme sauce 2 times lo!!
omg!!
ok, so, i think i must say something
THANK YOUU KAITAT AND KELVIN!!
because of me they became so auntie and so singaporean
cos i lend money from them
and they also dont have much money, so, we practically became typical singaporean
we ask fr more plain water (cos free flow) and more sauce, and more soup
and practically everything that is free
and the est thing is that the person counted one less plate of pork, so, in the end only like 26 something for 3 ppl
andrina and jiani ate 46 i think
and derricck they all also ate a lot, like 50 over
and seartin and his bro confirm is eat the most de
they ate 70something bucks
ao, well, can imagine how budget ours is
ok, so, i owe you 2 a big favour, i'll return u next time :)
ok, so, we went arcade for the second time
actually thought of watching movie, but then the transformers 2 for 2030 de is full
and 2115 de is like left front row, so, never watch
and so we went stadium there sit and slack
talk talk and talk :D
then, went home
i went back kallang, old school there take bus, and went home

morning waken up by mummy and went to buy things and food too
so, thats about all ba,
ok, so, again, THANKS KELVIN AND KAITAT!! :)
tata~~

2009-06-21T22:47:00.004+08:00

i just saw my NP mail and saw the mail from dr charmaine
the header of the mail was IMPORTANT - REGARDING COMMON TEST MARKS
and the first sentence was 'I am sending this email to only a few of you .'
and the mid sentence was 'among the 10% in class'
and the last sentence was 'You will get your papers on the day we re-open, at the lecture, privately.'

i think i need some serious reflection and some head knocking.